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Rev Up Your love Life With These Tips!

WhateverJeff

50 Shades of Sunburned White Guy...

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Active over 3 weeks ago

43 year old man
Elgin, Illinois, United States

Seeking:
women 28-53
Within:
30 Miles of Elgin, Illinois, United States
Relationship:
Never Married
Have kids:
No
Want kids:
Someday
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Body type:
About average
Height:
6'1" (185cms)
Faith:
Spiritual but not religious
Smoke:
Occasionally
Drink:
Social Drinker

 

ABOUT HIM & WHO HE'S LOOKING FOR

I'm going to whip out the oft overdone 'grocery list' of highlights about myself. Enjoy (in no particular order):
I enjoy my life, and I am comfortable with who I am.
My family is the most important thing in the world to me.
My 16 year-old niece is the coolest person in the world.
I love animals.
I genuinely listen. I don't wait to talk. I care and appreciate about what you have to say and how you feel.
I am spiritual, but not religious (except for voodoo, so if you have any pet roosters we're probably not a good match).
I have a self-deprecating, sarcastic and insightful sense of humor. I've been through a lot in the last 10 years and it's what has kept me going.
I'm a big guy. I'm not obese, and I do work out 4-5 days a week. The problem is I eat 7 days a week, so the eating always beats the working out.
I've been told many times that I look younger then I am. My response: "I moisturize."
I don't hate my job, and I am good at it. However, it's not my life's ambition. It just pays the bills while I quietly plan to take over the world.
I like to shop and I am always willing to offer an opinion if your butt looks big in those jeans (only if asked, though).
Now, at this point, you may be thinking, "Loves animals, nature and shopping. Is this guy gay?" The answer is a resounding "NO". You see, I've given that thought some consideration and found that the whole "balls in your face" and "kissing a guy with a hairy back" scene is just not for me. (NOTE: If you're a woman with balls or a hairy back please move on. I'm not judging you. I just know we won't be a good match.)
I will stand up for what I believe in. I'm just not in the mood to fight about it. If you're militant, go date a Fox news anchor.
If you have a picture of yourself with a gun in your profile, move on. Not a fan.
I am always intrigued by women who have a headline that reads "Must Love Dogs." What kind of heartless whoreson doesn't love a dog? Are there that many that you have to specifically ask for someone that loves a dog? Look, my feelings are that if the guy really doesn't love dogs he's not going to tell you until after he locks you up in his dungeon, so....you know...just keep that in mind.
Oh, by the way - when I die, I am going to haunt the f-ck out of you.
But while I live, I will ride the wave of life laughing all the way.
Seriously, if you've gotten this far just e-mail me already.

Interests:
Camping, Coffee and conversation, Cooking, Dining out, Fishing/Hunting, Gardening/Landscaping, Hobbies and crafts, Movies/Videos, Museums and art, Music and concerts, Exploring new areas, Nightclubs/Dancing, Performing arts, Playing sports, Shopping/Antiques, Travel/Sightseeing, Volunteering, Watching sports, Wine tasting
Sports & exercise:
Billiards / Pool, Golf, Dancing, Running, Skiing, Walking / Hiking, Weights / Machines, Other types of exercise
Exercise habits:
I exercise 3-4 times per week
Pets:
I have Dogs
Political views:
Liberal
Sign:
Taurus
College:
Harper College, Palatine, IL
For fun:

Love going to the city, nice nights out for dinner, beer patios, concerts, meet ups, seeing local bands rock it out. Believe me, I could find something fun to do at a freaking funeral (unless it's my own, then the fun is up to you).

Favorite hot spots:

The sun. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!

Favorite things:

That feeling I get just after a great haircut. I feel like I could take over the world with a fresh haircut. Hey isn't that what Napolean said just before Waterloo?

Last read:

The warrant the FBI put out for my arrest. Noooo, I'm just kidding. Or am I?

ABOUT... HIM HIS DATE
APPEARANCE:
Height:
6'1" (185cms)
5'0" (152cms) to 6'11" (210cms)
Body type:
About average
Slender, About average, Curvy, Athletic and toned, A few extra pounds
Eyes:
Blue
No preference
Hair:
Blonde
No preference
   
LIFESTYLE:
Smoke:
Occasionally
No Way, Occasionally, Cigar aficionado, Yes, but trying to quit
Drink:
Social Drinker
No preference
Occupation:
Sales / Marketing
No preference

I'm a shepherd. Yeah, who'd a thunk a shepherd could find work in suburban Chicago, right? But I do okay. I've got a shepherd's pole and sheep and stuff. You know, all the standard shepherd gear. I even wear a flowing robe..
I'm such an a-hole.

Income:
$50,001 to $75,000
No preference
Relationship:
Never Married
No preference
Have kids:
No
No
Want kids:
Someday
No preference
   
BACKGROUND/VALUES:
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Latino / Hispanic, White / Caucasian

I'm about as white as they come. Half Polish, which means I've got a dustpan in one hand, and half dutch, which means I've got a beer in the other.

Faith:
Spiritual but not religious
No preference
Languages:
English
No preference
Education:
Associates degree
No preference

Me smart...me know how to spell...me look for woman.

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