Things I like: humor, truth, feelings. Ambitions: To master comedy writing in my own voice and be paid generously for my selfless devotion to craft. What makes me, me: a sardonic wit that masks a heart of gold. A point of view that no one else has. Hobbies: Guitar and songwriting. Go for it: Connect Four.
You should be a real, self-aware person. Like, you should be able to intelligently blame your parents for several of your faults. You should be able to decide on a restaurant in less than a minute. You should wholeheartedly believe that you know more than someone at least once a day. You should be a former cheerleader who's sick of jocky dudes and wants something real with a man who appreciates your inner beauty in addition to your classic, slightly Jewish good looks. Some of these are optional.