(#) "HEY!!! Wake up!!! She's reading your profile right now!"
(*) "Whaaaaattt thuuuhhh, . . . .huhhh? ? ?"
(#) "I said-- SHE's READING YOUR PROFILE ,...RIGHT NOW!"
(*) "Wait,. . . . . how'd? what'the? WHEN!?"
(#) "Never mind. Get up! Comb your hair,...brush your teeth. SAY SOMETHING!!"
(*) "I'm not ready to say anything--- I just woke up. Give me a moment. [....(thinking)....(thinking)....(still thinking)...]
(#) "ARRRRG!!! You know she's NOT going to get that."
(*) "Get what?"
-thinking' part. It's a PAUSE,.. you don't type a pause, she'll think you're an idiot!"
"(*) "Hey, you're the one that said to hurry up,... you caught me off guard. . . . . . How's my hair?"
(#) "Just fine,... now, say something before she moves onto the next profile!"
(*) "Ok,... got it!. "Hello, you have a nice smile."
(#) "Dude,... you did NOT just say she has a nice smile,..... that is sooooo LAME!"
(*) "Why, it's genuine."
(#) "Why don't you just ask her What her "sign" is,... or "Read any good books lately",....or better yet: "Who does your taxes?"
(*) "Awww, come'on...it's not THAT bad . . . . . . . . . . . . is it?"
(#) "Hey, it's you're funeral, I'm only trying to help."
(*) "Ok, thanks. But really,... I got this now." . . . .
(*)..."My friends would describe me as.. "
(#) "No,..No,..No,..No,... and NO! You're NOT going to use THAT pathetic line. "
(*) "Well, it gets the point across...?"
(#) "And what "point" is that? That you're a spineless marshmallow that's too brainwashed to be able speak for himself? And you know darn well we didn't ask any of our friends before you started arbitrarily quoting them"
(*) "But, it's not "OK" to talk about yourself."
(#) "Says Who? What? When? Why? What's that got to do with wether or not you're a good, sincere, caring person? And why is it a bad thing to let other's know? Just tell it like it is!"
(*) "Hmmmm,... I see OUR point ! ...I got it; 'Live,....Laugh,...Love,.."
(#) "Oh my GOSH! . . .why don't we just "Burp, Gag, Puke? You know that EVERY OTHER woman's profile we read has that line in it,..seriously, Homer--put some thought into this or she's just gonna move on to the next Bozo."
(*) "Geesh!..this is harder than I thought."
(#) "NO! it's not,... you're just making it that way. Just type as if she's right in front of you and you're talking to her."
(*) "OK,.. I can do this! ("DEEP BREATH"!!!!)
(#) "Alright,... I'll run a quick errand, but when I come back - - - I want details!!"
(*) "Fine."
(*) "Hello there,... you have a REALLY nice smile."
(*) "Huh?"
(*) "What the...?"
(*) "AWWWWW,..CRAP - -that is LAME."
(#) "Knock-knock,.. I'm back. I brought icceee creeaaamm!"
(*) "You were right. I could have used your help."
(#) "I told you. You gotta dress it up; Bright Lights -Big City. It's SHOWTIME!!"
(*) "Whuddya suggest?"
(#) "Tell her her hair shimmers as if rinsed in moonlight,.. her lips the envy of ancient queens of Egypt..."
(*) "Don't ya think that's a little over the top?"
(#) ", well,... maybe. Where's your bowls?"
(*) "Right cabinet by the sink,. . . . .what kind did you get?"
(#) "Bananna Guacomole Crunch - - - - of course!"
(*) "I'm afraid to ask what the "crunch" is."
(#) "You're better off that way."
(*) " Hey,.... my legs' starting to fall asleep! Why do we have to hide behind the couch??"
(#) " 'Cause,..., she's still reading your profile."
(*) " But,. . . . . she can't see us,..... I can't feel my toes."
(#) " Maybe she cannnnn - - I think you left your turned on."
(*) "So?... we're STUCK here?!?!?!?"
(#) " We'll see---- Hey,... any more ice cream left?"
(*) " (crunch/crunch.... gulp!) Nope!... all gone."
(#) " !! "
