Ladies: why is it I have to read "love to laugh" on virtually every one of your profiles I see? Who doesn't love to laugh? Think of all the people you know and how many of them truly hate to laugh? It's like stating, "love to eat good food" or "love to have awesome sex" or "love to win lotteries". I suggest removing this and other such obvious and silly statements from your profile. Instead of sounding like a moron say something unique and original, be funny, be different, and elevate yourselves up from the masses. Sure, now call me an a$$hole if that makes you feel better, but you know what I say is true. And while I'm on this soapbox, what's with the winking? You realize, don't you, that this is the lazy way to initiate contact? So if a guy winks at you remember that he was too lazy to bother to read your profile, find something to comment on, and then throw a few words together to form an intelligent, coherent statement and e-mail you. He was too lazy to bother. Truthfully, I would expect this from most guys but are you going to do this too?
For those of you that have forgotten the art of capital letters, please take note of the following statement: "Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse."
So...I was dating a girl with a wooden leg, but I broke it off. First off, if you don't get little jokes like that then I'm afraid you'll be doing a lot of staring at me like a deer trapped in headlights. I have a good sense of humor and a quick wit. I'm easy to talk to and a good conversationalist and would like to meet someone with a similar personality. I am a dynamic individual, often times seen directing traffic and grating cheese. I have been known to remodel public restrooms, making them more efficient in the areas of air filtration. I translate 14th century French poetry for Haitian refugees. I write operas for the deaf. I manage time effectively. I can recite the pledge of allegiance in thirteen languages. I do not own a winter coat. On Tuesdays, I teach origami to amputees. To let off steam, I participate in full contact chess. Years ago, I discovered the meaning of life but neglected to jot it down. I have made exquisite four-course meals with only a melonballer, Crisco, and a toaster oven. I believe that mute people are just not trying hard enough. I can tell you how to get to Sesame Street, I just don’t want to.
I moved to San Diego from Portland, Oregon on a whim in 2001 and really enjoy the lifestyle here. I'm adventurous and enjoy racquetball, golf, motorcycling, dirt biking, snow/water skiing, scuba diving, comedy clubs, karaoke, and exploring new places. I'm not an alcoholic but I enjoy a margarita or a Long Island iced tea from time to time. Rest assured that that I will not drink beer every night and yell at the TV like some raving lunatic during sporting events. In fact, I don't follow sports, I'd rather be out doing something than glued to the TV on weekends. I've been around the proverbial block, Brazil, Singapore, Japan, Taiwan, China, Denmark, Ireland, England, Spain, Russia, Italy, Germany, Canada, Mexico, and Israel. You can't tell from the pictures, but I'm actually half Swedish and have lived in Sweden.
I've never been married and have no children, don't analyze it, it just hasn't happened for me. I'm educated with BS and MS degrees and have a successful engineering career underway. I don't really like to get up early on the weekends but I will for fun activities. I'm very mellow and live a pretty stress-free life. More so than most people I know. I will not become a stalking psycho if things don't work out between me and a potential friend/girlfriend. I don't think I ask for too much in people. Just be nice, normal, and try to keep commitments.
