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Rev Up Your love Life With These Tips!

Tianayon

"SHINE YOUR SHOES FOR THE FAT LADY" J.D. Salinger

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40 year old woman
Palo Alto, California, United States

Seeking:
men 39-49
Within:
Miles of
Relationship:
Divorced
Have kids:
Yes, they sometimes live at home (3)
Want kids:
Not sure
Ethnicity:
Asian
Body type:
Slender
Height:
5'2" (157cms)
Faith:
Agnostic
Smoke:
No Way
Drink:
Social Drinker

 

ABOUT HER & WHO SHE'S LOOKING FOR

Hi. I moved to the West Coast nearly 3 years ago when my marriage ended and left behind my East Coast roots to be closer to my sister. Yay for small favors. NorCal is now home.

Having to redefine what "Happily Ever After" means to me (after being married for 13 years) was "not in the plans" and it took some time for me to gain perspective and peace. I believe that certain truths are revealed to you (or can be seen by you) only after the struggle. I have many blessings in my life. The three I'm most grateful for are my boys-13,11,9.

I'm NOT looking for a replacement dad for my children. They're quite fond of the one they have and he'll always take care of them, both emotionally and financially.

That being said, I can't see how I could be in a serious relationship with a man who wouldn't be a positive role model and who doesn't have the capacity to fall in love with my children.

Neither a "cougar," nor a "lamb," I've no wild oats that need to be sown. Casual hook-ups, friendships - the "no harm, no foul" relationships (the truth of which, by the way, I've always been very skeptical,) do not interest me in the least.

It's not so much that I'm necessarily looking to rush straight into forever - but I do feel it's important for me to be with someone who's make-up is similar to my own. A man who innately understands the pros and cons of being in a committed relationship - and still believes the sacrifices are outweighed by all of the good.

I get my serotonin from coffee. Unlike every other person in CA, I'm not training for a triathlon. I can, however, support a loved one who is - yes, staying fit is a priority for me... Just one of many. And although I am not "outdoorsy," (no one who even remotely knows me would ever think to gift me something from REI) neither am I a sun avoiding hermit.

I believe that my partner and I do not have to enjoy all of the same things in order for us to be in sync. If there's a mutual respect for what gives each person joy and meaning to their lives, it's all good.

I'm pretty open to new ideas and experiences. I don't usually mind being wrong and enjoy it when something or someone surprises me. I welcome in the new - inspire me, and let me inspire you.

To be a well rounded person and have a balanced life is a goal I hope to achieve one day. I'm impressed by a man whose priorities and values are obvious to all because of how he chooses to live his life - a man who puts Family 1st, Work 2nd, and Play, a very close 3rd.

I'm unabashedly feminine. I respond quite well to (and am very comfortable showing) affection. I love being a woman and being reminded of why I do. Admittedly, my emotional IQ is high. But I assure you that I use my powers for good. Well, mostly.

And then there's that elusive thing called chemistry. Butterflies in tummy are a must have deal breaker. I don't have any useful insights on mutual attraction to share. It is what it is.

Communication is key. I'm not interested in that guy (you know who you are) who's frozen in the self help section of the bookstore b/c he can't finish one of the self assessments. I'm searching for a man who's independence and personal space isn't threatened by my texts, phone calls, or whatever else we gals do that makes you guys question our independence and neediness. Seriously.

I don't believe it's possible to laugh too much in a lifetime. It is, however, very possible to not laugh enough.

Now, if only this darn computer would find me a man with whom I can have a monogamous, long-term relationship that is intellectually stimulating, emotionally nurturing, and physically satisfying...well, let's just say, I wouldn't mind.

Interests:
Alumni connections, Book club, Coffee and conversation, Cooking, Dining out, Hobbies and crafts, Movies/Videos, Museums and art, Music and concerts, Exploring new areas, Nightclubs/Dancing, Performing arts, Playing cards, Political interests, Shopping/Antiques, Travel/Sightseeing, Volunteering, Watching sports, Wine tasting
Sports & exercise:
I'll tell you later
Exercise habits:
I exercise 3-4 times per week
Pets:
Pet Essay:

I love (most) animals.
Of course I like to eat some of them too - except for that one year in college.
I don't wear fur, but I have an impressive collection of leather bags and shoes.
Seriously, one entire box?

Political views:
Middle of the Road
Sign:
I don't believe in astrology
College:
Smith College, Northampton, MA
For fun:

I like NEW HAVEN PIZZA
Philz Mojito Ice Coffee
HOPE
Any reason to wear my LBD
PERSPECTIVE
Art, Nature, Charity
TALENT
Scent of fresh cut grass after it rains
When MY BOYS get knocked down and GET UP AGAIN
ENTHUSIASM!
Gratitude
and - NEW HAVEN PIZZA

Favorite hot spots:

MY PORCH
I start (w/coffee, always) and end (w/wine, sometimes) my day here.
I write, swat away the flies, chill w/my boys, read, talk on the phone, and star gaze here.
It sounds trite, I know. But it's the truth - and I'm really just that lucky.

Favorite things:

the OCEAN
Dancing w/my boys
FAMILY Photos
Blushing, KISSING
WRITING anything, READING everything
Good FOOD,WINE,CONVERSATION
serendipity
MUSIC
2 WORDS: Thanks. MOM
High Thread Count Sheets
K-POP
Photography
"It's NOT About the Nail."

Last read:

Just read "What Every 4th Grader Needs To Know." Now reading "What Every 8th Grader Needs to Know." It's so sad how much I don't know. Truly mortifying considering the price tag of my education. That reminds me. I should give Mom and Dad a call.

ABOUT... HER HER DATE
APPEARANCE:
Height:
5'2" (157cms)
5'7" (170cms) to 6'6" (198cms)
Body type:
Slender
Slender, About average, Athletic and toned, A few extra pounds
Eyes:
Brown
Black, Blue, Brown, Grey, Green, Hazel
Hair:
Dark brown
Auburn / Red, Black, Light brown, Dark brown, Blonde, Salt and pepper, Silver, Dark blonde, Grey, Platinum, Bald
   
LIFESTYLE:
Smoke:
No Way
No Way, Occasionally, Yes, but trying to quit
Drink:
Social Drinker
Never, Social Drinker
Occupation:
Artistic / Creative / Performance
No preference

For the last 13 years: CEO of household / "World's Most OK Mom" of 3 boys
Recently demoted to CO-PARENT (I kid)
Starting work as model (mature)
Writer. Well, actually, I'm a "yet to be published, but will be before she dies" writer.

Income:
I'll tell you later
No preference
Relationship:
Divorced
Never Married, Widow / Widower, Currently Separated, Divorced
Have kids:
Yes, they sometimes live at home (3)
Yes, and they sometimes live at home, No, Yes, and they live away from home, Yes, and they live at home
Want kids:
Not sure
Definitely, Someday, Not sure, Probably not, No, No, but it's OK if my partner has kids
   
BACKGROUND/VALUES:
Ethnicity:
Asian
Asian, Black / African descent, East Indian, Latino / Hispanic, Middle Eastern, Native American, Pacific Islander, White / Caucasian, Other

Korean-American.
Both parents are Korean and I was born in NY.
Raised in a CT town where the 7-Eleven was the "it" place to be seen
Not another Asian for miles and miles
My parent's never did get that memo about moving to Fort Lee, Queens, or LA…

Faith:
Agnostic
No preference

There are times (esp. after my dad's passing) that I sincerely wish I did believe in a Heaven and a Hell - after all, there is Good and there is Evil. Still, on this topic, I side with Hamlet.

Languages:
English, Other
English
Education:
Bachelors degree
Bachelors degree, Graduate degree, PhD / Post Doctoral

Choate Rosemary Hall (phew)
Smith College (Art / Eng. Lit)
Pratt Institute of Art (Art Therapy)
One semester shy from earning my MA in Art Therapy
I decided to get married instead.
And, yes, I do feel sorry for my parents.

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