Oh SNAP! What manner of badassery is this?! A radio dj? Who makes his living playing music and talking to famous people on the FM airwaves and not on some internet stream!? Get the eff out! Seriously, who doesn't want to date a dj? Terrorists, that's who. Are you a terrorist? No? Then you need to date me.
I'm respectful, loyal, funny and I won't bother any of your stuff. If you leave stuff out, I'm just like, "Oh damn, I'd better not mess with this stuff, because it's not mine." I'll even fix your computer, edit your videos and code your web page. That's right! I write software for fun. FOR FUN! Don't have your own site for your modeling portfolio? I'll set you up on Joomla. AWWWW YEAH!
Sometimes I make remixes. You can sing? Rap? I'll put together a phat beat and we'll jam all night long, pausing only to take sweeeeet x-box breaks, pick up taco bell, and make out. Not in the mood? Hold on, let me put on some AXE body spray. How bout now? AND BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE!
My main languages are English, German and Spanish, but I'm also fluent in sarcasm. I once ate a can of frosting on a dare. I've been skydiving without a parachute twice, I have 100% positive feedback on Ebay, and I can squeeze orange juice from a banana. BAM SON, FRESH JUICE!!!
You know in the movies when they have that scene where there's a bad-ass explosion and somebody's walking away from it without even looking back like an effin’ boss? Know where they got the idea from? That's right. THEY BIT OFF MY SWAGGER.
Need Twitter followers? Here, take some of my 100,000 . I'll retweet you, and everybody will follow you because you're a total hottie with something interesting to say. Then I'll come pick you up in my sweet ride and we'll instagram for days and make your friends jealous. We'll put that ish on Reddit, yo! Upvote THIS!
Am I interested in hanging out with you? You bet your goofy ass I am! All I ask for is honesty and a fun personality. Anything beyond that is considered a convenient plus. So hit me up! And most importantly…
Please only contact me if you have a phenomenal sense of humor! Good conversation skills, spelling and grammar are a must. Smart girls are sexy. I don't date dead weight. Don't waste my time if you have no aspirations in life, I'm looking for someone as ambitious as myself.
