This is a tad dated, though ultimately an accurate portrait. . Well, Im updating my profile yet again, my criteria has since changed, Im now merely looking to spend time with a girl who has A/C in her apt. My name is Ryan; Im tall, fit, and outgoing. Im the artsy-fartsy jock anomaly. Im an artist/writer, I have my Masters in Fine Arts, and I am represented by a major Chelsea gallery. Im very active, run 3 miles a day, I duly believe my body to be my temple. Im kind, considerate, cordial, polite, blah, blah, and blah. I take a great deal of pride in my own honesty and integrity, Im always truthful, and open, often to a fault, but I refuse to censor myself (except around my grandma, I prefer to clean up my potty-mouth). Laughter is the most important element in my life. I think Steven Wright is comic genius, and I think musicians who do leg-kicks, synchronized dance segments and animals that perform flips are hilarious. If we were in a relationship together, and you were not a fan of Arrested Development then you would have to find a way to entertain yourself during my nightly viewing, this is non-negotiable. Humor is a must, I realize everybody says this, but if I cant make you laugh, you cant make me laugh, or we cant laugh together, then you really are of no use to me. I am very outgoing, often the wild man of the group, however, when it comes to initial contact I am all too often reserved. In fact the idea of approaching a girl at the bar of my own accord, I find grossly abhorrent. I prefer not to conduct my wooing from atop a bar-stool, hence this service. I generally take a rather blase approach to dating. Im more or less looking for the one, not for practice. However, Im not in opposition to casual dating or else I wouldn’t be wasting the time here. Im playing around with most of this, but if you take offense to any of my humor, and/or do not find it funny, then either Im retarded, or you are not what Im looking for. I am fairly picky, much more so, than I probably have a right to be, I’m sure. But I believe "love" to be unconditional, so my criteria is susceptible to change. I am looking for someone who is a non-smoker; college educated..and for god’s sake, not a state school either. J/k. As well as humor, music plays an instrumental role in my life. I also consider myself to be a fairly good read of people and an excellent judge of character. Therefore, from an ethical standpoint, I am unable to date anyone who listens to N’sync, Limp Bizcit (SP?) or other such bands. I have an adamant distaste for any post 1990 pop. I prefer brunettes, but have a particular fondness for blondes, while still reserving a special place in my heart for redheads. I’m not looking for a ditsy valley girl, but I’m also not looking for the free love hippie type (pot smoking, god’s eye weaving)… just a fun, attractive, witty, intelligent, real and genuine girl who shares similar interests, and offers to buy me a beer. . In addition, if you would characterize yourself as someone who is "high-maintenance" and/or looking for a "Sugar-Daddy", then I am probably not interested.
Amendment: All girls named "Hadley" move straight to the front of the line. Apparently, I am a tad too verbose for the "Favorite Things" maximum quota . . Despite my incessant feigning of culture, I am still a simpleton at best, and Hawaiian pizza smothered in Ranch still brings a smile to my face.
I absolutely detest spiders, mushrooms, sleeping in anything other than a pair of boxers and a solitary 350 thread-count cotton sheet, plastic eating utensils and their accompanying styrofoam container, those who are not mindful of their surroundings and others, which directly correlates to a foolishly bloated sense of self-worth and/or inappropriate validation for ones actions and merit. . .
I am searching for substance, not a profile littered with slews of photos illustrating your affinity towards bottle-service and garishly clad carbon-copied friends.
