After a year on Match, I have come to the conclusion it is the single most discouraging thing I have ever done. During that year, I have begun seriously dating a woman I met on my own who doesn’t even know I am on Match. As I leave, here is some advice for all of you:
If you are a single mother, a single career woman or both, you must be extremely self-sufficient. If you truly want to have a man in your life, you have to be willing -- and make a focused effort -- to give up some of your self-sufficiency. Before you respond to a single e-mail or initiate contact, ask yourself if you are ready to make room in your life for another human being. If you aren’t, you are wasting your time and being selfishly dishonest with the men here who are making a sincere effort to meet a loving partner.
If you are a single mother, think about what you are saying when you write things like “My children are my life.” It’s admirable that you’re a good mother, but you are essentially saying to every man you meet, “I have a greater priority than you.” It’s a huge roadblock to an intimate adult relationship.
Many women post pictures of their dogs. What’s up with that? I don’t need to know what your dog looks like. It makes me think that you are expecting a man to lavish affection on you like a dog does. To those women I ask: “How often have you fed a man?” Stop feeding your dog for a few days and see how affectionate he still is.
Many women write that they want to “live life to the fullest.” What does that mean? Does it mean you’re going to be mad at me if I don’t want to go shopping with you?
Many women write: “I’m as comfortable in jeans and sneakers as an evening gown and high heels.” Is any woman going to write “I’m spoiled and extremely high-maintenance.”
To those women who say they want a man who makes over $150,000 a year…such men are not on Match. Those men already have wives who adore them. If not, they have twenty-year-old girlfriends. Maybe they have both.