I have an on-again, off-again relationship with the world of online dating. In the hopes of actually meeting that person I connect with this time around, I'm going to start with some disclosures.
First, my parents are from Iran, which makes me Persian. Having encountered enough of these mutant LA Persians since moving here (I'm from Chicago), I feel compelled to clarify a few things:
I don't wear expensive sunglasses, fancy watches or white pants. I don't have a Mercedes, and if I did have one I would not feel compelled to drive it around obnoxiously fast. The thought of hanging out at the SLS hotel or sipping girly martinis by the pool at the Roosevelt Hotel makes me want to shoot myself in the head.
I am an adventurous eater. I will eat organ meat, tongue, or heart without flinching. When someone says "sushi", I do not think of shrimp tempura, dragon rolls, and spicy tuna. I order my burgers and steaks medium rare. (I respect vegetarians. I don't respect people who are afraid to try something unfamiliar or who want to ruin a perfectly good piece of meat by overcooking it.)
I don't look for any particular "type" of girl, unless "smart" counts. I have dated conservative, straight-laced lawyers and doctors, reformed hippies, bisexuals, and "emo" chicks that are covered in tattoos. I've dated Muslims, Jews, Christians, Buddhists, and atheists, people 10 years younger than me, people 10 years older than me, and everything in between. I've had serious relationships that have lasted multiple years and nearly ended in marriage, and I have had "friends with benefits" situations where we were both openly seeing other people (though I'm looking for a deeper connection than that right now). Virtually all of these relationships have ended amicably and many have continued as purely platonic friendships.
If you're reading all of this and saying, "eww," then we're not a fit. If you're saying, "cool," then keep reading.
My friends have told me that I am:
- fiercely loyal
- calm in a crisis
WHO I'D LIKE TO MEET
I've learned that there's no magical checklist. I generally gravitate toward people who are a confident, kind, thoughtful, introspective, experienced in life, and a little sassy. I'm not so much looking for a particular set of qualities in someone, but rather for a true connection. It's hard to find chemistry in an online profile, but if you think we might have it, then we should chat over a drink or a cup of coffee and find out.
This should be enough to get us started. The rest in person.