Hi Internet! A little about me... hmmm... I enjoy outdoor activities like hiking, bike riding, patio beers, camping, BBQ, trying new restaurants, hot-tubbing in winter, skydiving, hanging out with family and friends. I love holidays... Christmas especially, so I really enjoy decorating, cooking and hosting holiday parties. I'm really pretty much down for anything... at least once. And I'm looking for a partner in crime.
I decided to try online dating because I'm not really into the bar/club scene anymore. I am looking for a my partner in crime to also be my best-friend... someone that has some of the same interests as me, but also has their own. I believe in a few simple, but often neglected principles in life: integrity, honesty, humbleness and morality. I also have a sarcastic sence of humor, so if you're not into that kind of thing, we would not get along well. For an example of said sarcasm, see below at my travel observations...
(As read in the in the voice of Dr. Nick Rivera)
"Tired of reading boring profiles? Well, for only $99.99 you too can read an awesome and funny profile..."
Cabo – Yes, I HAVE heard of Cabo Wabo.
USVI – Why doesn't anyone here wear shoes?
Estonia -- Even the pharmacy looks like a castle.
Alaska – Reindeer, it’s what's for dinner.
Jamaica – Do you have any music that WASN'T sung by Bob Marley?
Canada – Where do I park my moose?
Sweden - Reindeer AND cranberry sauce? Who could ask for anything more?
Hawaii – Stop feeding tourists poi, it's disgusting.
Russia - Why do your letters look like hieroglyphics?
New York – $6000 a month for a 50 sq. ft. apartment that smells like cat pee and doesn’t have a *usable* refrigerator. Rad.
Denmark - Why is all your money coins, but NO ONE takes coins?
Venice – It doesn’t concern anyone that lives here that when 'high-tide' comes in, you have to walk around in thigh-high boots in a tepid pool of your own excrement?
Germany - Everyone still hates you.
Utah - Where cults are born and dreams die, and YES... I have heard of Joesph Smith.
Florence – Why are all the statues of fat, naked people?
Athens – The Olympics? Nope, never heard of ‘em.
Mykonos – Yes, your olives are bigger than my olives.
Pisa – It’s a good thing your tower ended in a mistake; otherwise, no one would know you even exist.
Orange County – “I love the diversity here: upper middle class and upper class. Man, is there anything more annoying than the poor??? Can’t afford two-bedroom townhouse for $600,000. Great, move east, that’s what the middle of the country is for, people that gave up on their dreams.” – Daniel Tosh
Los Angeles – Rush hour traffic at midnight. Awesome.
Orlando – It may say “Euroland” but it resembles nothing of Europe. Everyone at Euroland speaks English, the food is horrible, the toilets are free and there isn't a decent bottle of wine in the whole place. Epic fail.
Monte Carlo – Am I the only person here that doesn’t own a 60' yacht? I feel so inadequate. I'm going back to Mexico, where I am a God!!!
Istanbul – No, I don’t want to buy a rug off the street that's covered in goat hair.
Richfield – This is where Satan was born, really, look it up.
Amsterdam – I think I missed my plane. Heh, Wait... what? Those brownies were the awesome! Wait... where AM I? I think the cops are after me.
Las Vegas – Can I get a cash advance on this credit card?
Zurich – Seriously, I have to pay to use the toilet?
Cheyenne – Look, *another* cow.
Vatican City – You guys REALLY like Jesus. Like, a lot.
Seattle – Yes, I am aware that Starbucks started here.
I think that is all I am willing to share on the Internet. Also, I spend a lot of time thinking of where bark comes from.
