I have no game.
I’m an honest, trustworthy, good looking man, with a strong head on my shoulders, a promising career, drive ambition and purpose; I’m great in bed (a real giver) and I positively love to hear women talk.
But I have no game.
An ex girlfriend of mine once told me that every time I walk into a room, every woman there wants to get with me, and then I talk to them and scare them all away. Most of the time I believe that I use too many big words and thus scare women away with my vocabulary, but if that doesn’t do the trick one of the following usually will:
I’m dedicated to my career – more than I’ll ever be dedicated to anything else, save my family. By this I mean that until you and I are married – work will be more important to me than you. Sorry.
I’m extremely well versed on a vast swath of subjects that most people have never even considered. I’ve probably forgotten more answers to more questions than most people will ever think to ask in their entire lifetimes. I’ll probably try and start a conversation with you about the fundamentals of metaphysics or the fractal nature of reality, or whether a fish views the atmosphere as the end of the world. And this is just what I think about while shaving in the morning.
I don’t have the biggest endowment in the world – in fact it’s just average. But I do have the healthiest sexual appetite of anyone I’ve ever been with. Truth be told, only once have I ever failed to please a woman in the bedroom. But she had never reached a climax with anyone, so I don’t l blame it on my technique, or for lack of trying.
I’m not a bar kind of guy. I just don’t see the point. Why would I want to go to a place and pay ten times what something is worth to drink just because they managed to play music at a volume level that makes it impossible to actually have a conversation with anyone, let alone enjoy the music. Parking sucks, cabs suck, and I don’t do one-night stands.
I’m an extremely visual person. I need to see a television show or a movie everyday or I’ll feel like I’m not doing my job. Incidentally I work in television, so this is much easier for me to accomplish than for most.
And last on this list, but certainly not least, or last period – I smoke weed. Lots of it. In fact most people have no comprehension of the amount of weed that I can smoke. If I don’t smoke weed once a day, I don’t feel right. I can’t sleep and I’ll be irritable.
I don’t know why you would be, but if you’re still reading – these are my worst traits. I figured it was easier to do this than to explain why we would be compatible. Also, it may not appear logical to you, but I can’t write an email to every single girl on this site that seems attractive. I just don’t have the time – which is why we’re all here in the first place. So if you’re the type to get offended by just the “poke” feature without an accompanying email – get over yourself, or go away. Actually just go away. And if you’re the type to take a photo of yourself from an angle that you know doesn’t really represent you or your features – go away. If you’re the type that is actually too afraid to make contact with anyone from Match – go away. Come back when you aren’t all talk.
So basically if you’re the type of woman that would like the insane man that I am, and you feel like determining our viability over a cup of coffee or a blunt to smoke on, then hit me up and lets see if there’s any reason to keep playing this Match.com game.
