I'm an engineer and I work for a small but prominent Indianapolis company. I think I’m a catch but I don't date as much as I'd like because I don't meet a lot of single women (why I’m here, of course) and I'm selective with the ones I do meet. Here’s an observation I've made about guys: the male traits that are the most desirable to women – good looks and confidence – often go hand in hand with arrogance, insensitivity, and generally being a jerk. And guess who he hides this from the longest... that’s right, the woman he’s interested in and trying to impress. While I definitely don’t consider myself god’s gift to women, I’m here to tell you that there are definitely guys out there who are confident and decent looking (…smart, well-groomed, aren’t stinky, have excellent credit, are pretty good at table tennis… ) and also know how to treat people. I put myself in that category, and I think anyone who knows me well would agree. Even ex-girlfriends, believe it or not.
What I’m looking for in a woman is easy to describe but surprisingly hard to find in a single woman in this town: she should be a good combination of intelligent, attractive, and fun. Admittedly those are all subjective qualities and maybe my standards are too high for one or more and that's why I'm still single. But I don’t think I should, or even could lower my standards just because I haven’t found the right woman yet.
Ideally she’ll be a thinker. Someone who will challenge me. And like me an empathetic person who will sense my feelings and try to please me, but at the same isn’t shy with her own desires. How can I dote on you if I don’t know what you want? (Believe it or not this has actually been a problem for me before. It’s at the same time frustrating and very endearing, which of course makes it even more frustrating.)
If I have any advice for women to get the most out of this site it's this: if you're smart about it meeting a guy in person isn't some big scary thing that you need to work up to for two weeks. No matter how long you draw it out with e-mails and texts, you're not going to learn much between establishing mutual interest and meeting face to face, so save us both some time and meet me for a drink or coffee. You pick the place, we meet there, drinks are on me. (In return for which I'll expect only conversation.) Want to feel more comfortable? Be blunt: ask for my driver's license and send a picture of it to a friend. Any guy who gets upset by this is a jerk or a kidnapper. Either way you go home early.
A lot of guys you'll know right away if it's going nowhere, and wouldn't you rather learn that before wasting a week or two exchanging e-mails than after? And then there are those of us who actually get better in person. You female types are always telling us we're shallow and you care more about personality. Prove it.
