Hi! My name is Massimo. :)
My friends will say I’m single because my schedule is all over the place. I think it’s because I ride a motorcycle with my dog named Tortellini, sneak 12 items into the 10 items or less line, and cook in an I Love Lucy kinda way which has been known to cause random kitchen explosions. Yes, I love to cook, especially a certain striated muscle, seared in a medium rare kinda way. Am I like the only non-vegan in this town? OH MY GOD!! I'm gonna burn in hell for that for sure, huh? Small children should leave the room now.
WARNING! Playing with me can be hazardous to your health. I’m a freelance cameraman in the TV movie biz, and definitely looking for an independent woman who’s spontaneous. We’re together we can be, even if it’s at midnight on a Monday for a few hours talking about the fundamental dynamics of sleep depravation amongst the procrastinators in LA… or not. ;) And when we’re apart, texting and sending photos of silly things that remind us of how much we care about each other.
My type? You are a woman who can iron your skirt while still wearing it, and are no stranger to a mechanical bull. Form meets fashion since your purse, cute by the way and totally matches your stiletto boots, contains shiny metal objects which can blind a perv at a nightclub. Do you accessorize that super hero booty of yours with leather gloves, a grappling hook and 40 feet of rope? I mean every woman needs an escape route from all the weirdo’s on here, right?
My idea of fun is calling you at 7, and said to be ready by 9 because I’m taking you into downtown on a Tuesday night for Korean bbq. Or maybe take a random motorcycle ride down PCH to Redondo for THE greatest bean cheese burrito on a Sunday afternoon. Sit with me on a park bench and hold my hand, stare at the stars on a beach and see how small we are in the universe, think the way I think with sarcastic humor and open communication, talk the way I talk, walk the way I walk, travel, be real, and be there for me when I need you. I’ll do the same if you bribe me with chocolate. j/k! maybe?
Fatal flaw? So what if I drive like a crazy foreigner who shouldn’t have a license? Hey, it's not like the sidewalk is being used for much walking these days anyways. All I wanted for Christmas was a bumper sticker that said, “Have bullhorn. Not afraid to use it.”
I don’t rush into anything, unless you count a sale at a produce stand giving away avocados for 15 cents a piece. As long as you can give a performance worthy of an academy award to get us both out of a lame event, I will hold your hair back when you hurl from all the bad champagne.
Ideas for a date? I’d rather jump off the Huntington Beach Pier with you than meet in a loud place with terrible decor, and have to rely on hand signals to understand what you’re saying.
Let's take a "stunt driving on the freeway made easy" class (ya know, to hone those secret agent/stunt woman skills of yours), walk my dog at the park and make fun of the tourists who wear sandals and socks, or just hop on the motorcycle and see how many octaves of vocal range you have. I mean, you’ve been practicing by singing in the shower anyways, right? ;) By the way, if your thing on here expired, and you can't do more than wink, write me directly on ya ho o with the same name I use on here. Capish? ;)
I look forward to hearing from you soon… and your mechanical bull riding stories!
