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MojitoMadness

Really good at reading people and situations. Finding the truth.

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Active within 1 hour

39 year old man
Woodland Hills, California, United States

Seeking:
women 26-52
Within:
25 Miles of Woodland Hills, California, United States
Relationship:
Never Married
Have kids:
No
Want kids:
Not sure
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Body type:
Stocky
Height:
5'11" (180cms)
Faith:
Spiritual but not religious
Smoke:
No Way
Drink:
Social Drinker

 

ABOUT HIM & WHO HE'S LOOKING FOR

Hi :) My name is Massimo. Somewhere in the midst of high speed freeway chases, froyo's and the occasional small earthquake, there's a quaint little spot where I reside. Playing with me has been known to the state of California, local authorizes and the cast of Always Sunny in Philadelphia to cause vertigo, confusion, fun, an occasional laugh induced hernia and sometimes PMS relief. Men get it too, just not on the same day as women. It's a Mayan calendar thing, coupled with sitting in traffic for 2 hours trying to get from the Valley (aka The Forbidden Zone in Planet of the Apes) to the West Side on a Friday night, or any day of the week ending in Y for that matter between 630am - 11am, or from 12pm to 9pm. And don't even think about taking the 405 from 9pm to 6am, because there's always some construction. Somehow though, I can often be seen speeding through town with wild, reckless abandon, and known to commit random senseless acts... with or without ionic inducing flashing lights.

Who am I looking for? You are a woman who can iron your skirt while still wearing it, and are no stranger to a mechanical bull. Form meets fashion since your purse, cute by the way and totally matches your stiletto boots, contains shiny metal objects which can blind a perv at a nightclub. The boots conceal your leather gloves, grappling hook and 40 feet of rope. Every woman needs an escape route from all the weirdos on here, right?

Who am I? I rush into a lot of things... glass doors in an office building, light poles, a sale at a produce stand giving away avocados for 15 cents a piece, etc. I ride a motorcycle with my dog, sneak 12 items into the 10 items or less line, and cook in a food network contest kinda way which has been known to cause random kitchen explosions. Am I the only non-vegan in this town? OH MY GOD!! I'm gonna burn in hell for that for sure, huh? Small children should leave the room now.

Fatal flaw? So what if I drive like a crazy foreigner who shouldn't have a license? Hey, it's not like the sidewalk is being used for much walking these days anyways. All I want for Christmas is a bumper sticker that says, "Have bullhorn. Not afraid to use it."

Ideas for a first date? Let's take a "stunt driving on the freeway made easy" class to hone those secret agent/stunt woman skills of yours, or we could:
Coffee, good.
Dog park, good.
Rock climbing, good. Jumping off the rock to prove you’re a super hero, only if I can press the siren button in the ambulance ride after to the hospital.

Sometimes I get tickets to sporting events, short notice. So if you're spontaneous, give yourself some extra brownie points. By the way, it's been a cool 6 months, but my thing on here is expired. So if you got a wink from me, it's probably because I'm interested in you, and just have no other way to contact you. If your thing on here also expired, or you noticed I haven't responded to an email or a photo "like" or something you sent me, write me directly on ya ho o with the same name I use on here. Capish? ;) Look forward to hearing from you soon, and your mechanical bull riding stories!

OMG, you made it this far in my profile. Do you want an award or something? I'm a romantic, looking for a big kid at heart who's open to a long term. :)

PRIVACY NOTICE: Warning - any person and/or institution looking for me and my info contained herein may be subject to criminal prosecution, a civil lawsuit, hot waxing of your back hair, flaming on social media, AND being subject to all 14 lbs of my dog in whatever way he decides. He's a trained attack dog, standing 14" tall at the afro. Based on the lack of morals and any ethical code of conduct they're not teaching these kids today, bribes of reese's peanut butter cups and moose tracks ice cream are highly recommended, encouraged and have been known to cause PMS relief as well. Lastly, I reserve the right to have 1000 twelve year old kids pull out every last one of your nose hairs.

Interests:
Camping, Coffee and conversation, Business networking, Cooking, Dining out, Fishing/Hunting, Movies/Videos, Museums and art, Music and concerts, Exploring new areas, Nightclubs/Dancing, Playing sports, Shopping/Antiques, Travel/Sightseeing, Volunteering
Sports & exercise:
Auto racing / Motorcross, Basketball, Bowling, Cycling, Football, Dancing, Martial arts, Running, Swimming, Walking / Hiking, Weights / Machines, Other types of exercise, Hockey, VolleyBall
Exercise habits:
I exercise 3-4 times per week
Pets:
I have Dogs
Political views:
Non-conformist
Sign:
Capricorn
College:
I'll tell you later
For fun:

Dancing, photography, cooking, bbq's, camping, fishing, hiking, backpacking, rock climbing, beach volleyball, exploring LA, taking the train into Downtown and Pasadena, live concerts, people watching, snuggling and cuddling.

Favorite hot spots:

Light houses in Palos Verdes, Cold Spring Tavern in Santa Barbara, Korean BBQ in K town, the inner workings of a well designed pillow fort, jumping in a natural lagoon in the mountains, and watching a movie on the couch with you... or not. ;)

Favorite things:

Give me 40 cloves of garlic, olive oil, a lemon, and I can pretty much make anything. I like songs with great basslines, kissing, roadtrips, massages and random acts of kindness. Frozen reese's peanut butter cups will make me happy anytime.

Last read:

The Illudium Q36 Explosive Space Modulator Instruction Manual, Quantum Mechanics for Dummies. ...and Someone's Mind. Think of something.


Keep thinking.


Almost there.


*incoming pillow* --==(________________()

KERPLOWIE!!!!

ABOUT... HIM HIS DATE
APPEARANCE:
Height:
5'11" (180cms)
4'10" (147cms) to 6'2" (187cms)
Body type:
Stocky
Slender, About average, Curvy, Athletic and toned, A few extra pounds
Eyes:
Brown
Black, Blue, Brown, Grey, Green, Hazel
Hair:
Black
Auburn / Red, Black, Light brown, Dark brown, Blonde, Salt and pepper, Silver, Dark blonde, Grey, Platinum
   
LIFESTYLE:
Smoke:
No Way
No Way, Yes, but trying to quit
Drink:
Social Drinker
Never, Social Drinker, Moderately
Occupation:
Other profession
Administrative / Secretarial, Artistic / Creative / Performance, Executive / Management, Financial / Accounting / Real Estate, Labor / Construction, Legal, Medical / Dental / Veterinary / Fitness, Political / Govt / Civil Service / Military, Retail / Food services, Retired, Sales / Marketing, Self-Employed / Entrepreneur, Student, Education / Teacher / Professor, Technical / Science / Computers / Engineering, Travel / Hospitality / Transportation, Other profession, Nonprofit / Volunteer / Activist, Law enforcement / Security / Military, Fashion / Model / Beauty, Architecture / Interior design

Professional Pillow Fighter, and two time world champ I might add. j/k.I work with cameras all day. I'm NOT an actor! lol.

Income:
I'll tell you later
No preference
Relationship:
Never Married
Never Married, Widow / Widower, Currently Separated, Divorced
Have kids:
No
Yes, and they sometimes live at home, No, Yes, and they live away from home, Yes, and they live at home
Want kids:
Not sure
Definitely, Someday, Not sure, Probably not, No, No, but it's OK if my partner has kids
   
BACKGROUND/VALUES:
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Asian, East Indian, Latino / Hispanic, Middle Eastern, Native American, Pacific Islander, White / Caucasian, Other

If both of my parents are from Sicily, does that make me an Islander?

Faith:
Spiritual but not religious
Agnostic, Atheist, Buddhist / Taoist, Christian / Catholic, Christian / LDS, Christian / Protestant, Hindu, Jewish, Muslim / Islam, Spiritual but not religious, Other, Christian / Other

Does trying to sneak 12 items into the 10 items or less line at the market disqualify me from any organized religion? I was raised catholic, thank my great parents for good morals and values, and try to stay spiritual now...open to everyone's opinion

Languages:
English, Italian, Spanish
English
Education:
Bachelors degree
High school, Some college, Associates degree, Bachelors degree, Graduate degree, PhD / Post Doctoral

I have a Bachelors degree!

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