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MojitoMadness

It takes sincerity and intelligence to make a woman laugh. Here goes nothing...

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39 year old man
Woodland Hills, California, United States

Seeking:
women 26-52
Within:
25 Miles of Woodland Hills, California, United States
Relationship:
Never Married
Have kids:
No
Want kids:
Not sure
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Body type:
Stocky
Height:
5'11" (180cms)
Faith:
Spiritual but not religious
Smoke:
No Way
Drink:
Social Drinker

 

ABOUT HIM & WHO HE'S LOOKING FOR

Hi! :) My name is Massimo.

WARNING! Playing with me can be hazardous to your health. I ride a motorcycle with my dog, sneak 12 items into the 10 items or less line, and cook in an I Love Lucy kinda way which has been known to cause random kitchen explosions. Am I the only non-vegan in this town? OH MY GOD!! I'm gonna burn in hell for that for sure, huh? Small children should leave the room now.

Fatal flaw? So what if I drive like a crazy foreigner who shouldn?t have a license? Hey, it's not like the sidewalk is being used for much walking these days anyways. All I want for Christmas is a bumper sticker that says, ?Have bullhorn. Not afraid to use it.?

Tired of dating in LA? Please stand up! Well, don't stand up in church if you're reading this there. People will think you're having a "witness" moment, like you're possessed or something. So sit back down... and then email me.

Why am I on here? I rush into a lot of things... glass doors in an office building, light poles, a sale at a produce stand giving away avocados for 15 cents a piece, etc. Instead, I need an awesome wing girl to hang out with; and if things develop, that's great. I'm happy being me without any labels. :)

The perfect wing girl? You are a woman who can iron your skirt while still wearing it, and are no stranger to a mechanical bull. Form meets fashion since your purse, cute by the way and totally matches your stiletto boots, contains shiny metal objects which can blind a perv at a nightclub. The boots conceal your leather gloves, grappling hook and 40 feet of rope. I mean every woman needs an escape route from all the weirdo?s on here, right?

So we start a new friendship. Now what? Working as a freelance cameraman in the TV & movie biz, I have a crazy schedule, and need a woman who gets it? gets the crazy hours, fundamental dynamics of sleep depravation, etc. Meeting for coffee is a great first meet, but are you free at 11pm on a Tuesday? I?ll walk you to your car, but don?t buy crack from Lenny in the dark alley!

Examples? Spend an entire day with you at the mall while you try on 23 pairs of shoes to find the right blouse to go with your Capri pants, yes? but only if you bribe me with chocolate. Go to your parent?s house to move your old daybed into your new place and need to borrow my truck, yes? does your dad own a shotgun, and did he give you permission to take it out of his house? Just asking. ;)

Ideas for a first meet and greet? I?d rather jump off the Huntington Beach Pier with you than meet in a loud place, packed in like sardines, and have to rely on hand signals to understand what you?re saying.

Instead, let's take a "stunt driving on the freeway made easy" class (ya know, to hone those secret agent/stunt woman skills of yours), or we could just walk my dog at the park and make fun of the tourists who wear sandals and socks. Wait, that?s my Auntie Crotta! Sorry Auntie Crotta? nice shoes you?re wearing. ;)

Sometimes I get tickets to sporting events, short notice. So if you're spontaneous, give yourself some extra brownie points. By the way, it's been a cool 6 months, but my thing on here is expired. So if you got a wink from me, it's probably because I'm interested in you, and just have no other way to contact you. If your thing on here also expired, or you noticed I haven't responded to an email or a photo "like" or something you sent me, write me directly on ya ho o with the same name I use on here. Capish? ;) I look forward to hearing from you soon? and your mechanical bull riding stories!

PS: Most common asked questions I get:
Q. Are you ever serious?
A. Yes, but only on Tuesdays. The rest of the week it's nothing but funny business. j/k. Yes, I do have a serious side. At work I'm an alpha male, take the lead kinda guy. I value honesty, truth, integrity, showing up and being there for other people.

Q. Are you on meds?
A. No, but I drink alkaline water to lose weight, and it makes me pee like a fish.

Interests:
Camping, Coffee and conversation, Business networking, Cooking, Dining out, Fishing/Hunting, Movies/Videos, Museums and art, Music and concerts, Exploring new areas, Nightclubs/Dancing, Playing sports, Shopping/Antiques, Travel/Sightseeing, Volunteering, Watching sports
Sports & exercise:
Auto racing / Motorcross, Basketball, Bowling, Cycling, Football, Dancing, Martial arts, Running, Swimming, Walking / Hiking, Weights / Machines, Other types of exercise, Hockey, VolleyBall
Exercise habits:
I exercise 3-4 times per week
Pets:
I have Dogs
Political views:
Non-conformist
Sign:
Capricorn
College:
I'll tell you later
For fun:

Dancing, photography, cooking, bbq's, camping, fishing, hiking, backpacking, rock climbing, beach volleyball, exploring LA, taking the train into Downtown and Pasadena, live concerts, people watching, snuggling and cuddling.

Favorite hot spots:

Light houses in Palos Verdes, Cold Spring Tavern in Santa Barbara, Korean BBQ in K town, the inner workings of a well designed pillow fort, jumping in a natural lagoon in the mountains, and watching a movie on the couch with you... or not. ;)

Favorite things:

Give me 40 cloves of garlic, olive oil, a lemon, and I can pretty much make anything. I like songs with great basslines, kissing, roadtrips, massages and random acts of kindness. Frozen reese's peanut butter cups will make me happy anytime.

Last read:

The Illudium Q36 Explosive Space Modulator Instruction Manual, Quantum Mechanics for Dummies. ...and Someone's Mind. Think of something.


Keep thinking.


Almost there.


*incoming pillow* --==(________________()

KERPLOWIE!!!!

ABOUT... HIM HIS DATE
APPEARANCE:
Height:
5'11" (180cms)
4'10" (147cms) to 6'2" (187cms)
Body type:
Stocky
Slender, About average, Curvy, Athletic and toned, A few extra pounds
Eyes:
Brown
Black, Blue, Brown, Grey, Green, Hazel
Hair:
Black
Auburn / Red, Black, Light brown, Dark brown, Blonde, Salt and pepper, Silver, Dark blonde, Grey, Platinum
   
LIFESTYLE:
Smoke:
No Way
No Way, Yes, but trying to quit
Drink:
Social Drinker
Never, Social Drinker, Moderately
Occupation:
Other profession
Administrative / Secretarial, Artistic / Creative / Performance, Executive / Management, Financial / Accounting / Real Estate, Labor / Construction, Legal, Medical / Dental / Veterinary / Fitness, Political / Govt / Civil Service / Military, Retail / Food services, Retired, Sales / Marketing, Self-Employed / Entrepreneur, Student, Education / Teacher / Professor, Technical / Science / Computers / Engineering, Travel / Hospitality / Transportation, Other profession, Nonprofit / Volunteer / Activist, Law enforcement / Security / Military, Fashion / Model / Beauty, Architecture / Interior design

Professional Pillow Fighter, and two time world champ I might add. j/k.I work with cameras all day. I'm NOT an actor! lol.

Income:
I'll tell you later
No preference
Relationship:
Never Married
Never Married, Widow / Widower, Currently Separated, Divorced
Have kids:
No
Yes, and they sometimes live at home, No, Yes, and they live away from home, Yes, and they live at home
Want kids:
Not sure
Definitely, Someday, Not sure, Probably not, No, No, but it's OK if my partner has kids
   
BACKGROUND/VALUES:
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Asian, East Indian, Latino / Hispanic, Middle Eastern, Native American, Pacific Islander, White / Caucasian, Other

If both of my parents are from Sicily, does that make me an Islander?

Faith:
Spiritual but not religious
Agnostic, Atheist, Buddhist / Taoist, Christian / Catholic, Christian / LDS, Christian / Protestant, Hindu, Jewish, Muslim / Islam, Spiritual but not religious, Other, Christian / Other

Does trying to sneak 12 items into the 10 items or less line at the market disqualify me from any organized religion? I was raised catholic, thank my great parents for good morals and values, and try to stay spiritual now...open to everyone's opinion

Languages:
English, Italian, Spanish
English
Education:
Bachelors degree
High school, Some college, Associates degree, Bachelors degree, Graduate degree, PhD / Post Doctoral

I have a Bachelors degree!

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