Hey guys,
Relatively new New Yorker here looking for dates. Yes. that's right: I don't consider "date" a dirty word. It's f***ing dinner and conversation. RELAX. We can go dutch, which is where everyone pays for their own food and wears wooden shoes.
Anyway, I actually haven't done any of this for a while but I love writing lists. So here's 20 things about me.
1. I'm an up-and-coming standup comedian. "Up-and-coming" is industry slang for "not consistently good yet."
2. I spent nine years in Chicago and went to one Cubs game. It was freezing. I think I went on the wrong day.
3. Barack Obama has seen me do an impersonation of Barack Obama.'
4. I like Cleveland Show more than Family Guy. Yeah, I'm the one.
5. Urbanathlete with a 8'24" average mile.
6. The show Sons of Anarchy has made me weirdly attracted to white trash guys. It will pass. It has to.
7. I spend hours reading every week, but don't get too excited. It's mostly comic books.
8. In the next six months, I'll do Austin, London, New Orleans, Las Vegas and Columbus. Those are the trips I know.
9. If I had been recruited by the CIA to be an elite spy, I could have done an OK job.
10. If I had been recruited by an LA casting agent to be a video ho, I could have done an OK job.
11. My actual job is PR, which is moe self promoting than the video ho, but mandates less formal dress than the spy job.
12. My coed volleyball team was named Wanda Spikes. I was captain, and we won 2nd place by beating a family full of children. No regrets.
13. I dance in my apartment more than is normal. But I'm pretty good.
14. In my mid 20s I dyed my hair blue and green. For style reasons. I did not lose a bet. Stop insisting I did.
15. While I excel at themes costume parties, I totally choke on Halloween.
16. I can finally grow the beard and the mustache, but I can't grow the connectors. You know what I mean?
17. I don't do reality TV. Unless you count the occasional cooking show or the 20 hours of Bad Girls Club my friend made me watch during Hurricane Sandy.
18. This wine is good.
19. The tattoos I have are not my last tattoos.
20. I love running, and dates are cool, yet the idea of running dates terrify me. Why is that?
