About Me:
I have a girl crush on Jennifer Lawrence and Im not even a girl. In other words I want her to be my BFF so we can braid each others hair and paint toenails and all that stuff I imagine girls do when they hang out.
Trying on clothes at H&M makes me realize that children are horrible at sewing.
WebMD is a choose your own adventure book where the ending is always cancer.
If Bill Clinton delivered my eulogy I would wake the hell up.
If I see someone trip on the street and act like nobody saw it I make sure to run up to them and go "I totally saw that!"
Who Im looking for:
If youre still reading this and aren't weirded out you are probably who Im looking for.
If you like standup comedy and know any of the guys I listed below, huge bonus! Oh also if you like bourbon cocktails. Submitted from mobile Submitted from mobile
