(Oakland Version):
hippie beard and scruffy hair; hoodies; Peet’s; street fairs; the pier; rallies, causes and protests for everything even to protest the protest and rally against the cause; public transportation; cold summers; raiders games; beat up cars; top dog; dancing on cars; telling people I’m gonna volunteer for Obama; hating on the man when I’m done being his lackey.
(LA Version):
haircut and a shave; grown up clothes; new shiny stuff; valet (in the Honda behind the Range and in front of the BMW); french connections; coffee bean; the clippers; rooftop views; oil fields in the middle of the city; 75 degrees; keeping up with the Joneses; waiting in line because it means something good is gonna happen inside wherever I’m waiting in line for, even if me and the people in line don’t know what it is (note that I’m usually disappointed when I get to the front of the line); trying to find the Hollywood sign.
Bad Stuff:
Stole Connect Four from a cabin one time and got caught by a 9-year old. Proceeded to whip said 9-year old in Connect Four; don’t like women who have men’s names tattooed on them . . . even if its mine (as far as I know no woman has my name tattooed on her, in case you're wondering). Although I may make exceptions because I was dumb enough to tattoo my own name on myself; hate my cellphone; mad that someone conned me into getting an education and isn’t paying off the debt; to old to wake up regretting last night but I find that it happens about once a month; mutter to myself under my breath when I’m stressed out; Oprah; blackberries (the kind that make me work); rap music in 2012; people who wear performance athletic gear; standing up when the airplane lands before its your turn; suburbs; grand lux cafe; SPOKEN WORD.
Good Stuff:
sunshine, roadtrips, payday, fresh laundry, friends, little kids, a full tank of gas, the right song at the right time, brushing of the teeth, pinkberry, brunch, sleeping in, inner joy, cuddling, football on Sundays, randomness and spontaneity, afternoon naps, tomorrow. Women who like sports . . . a plus . . . but only after they have been thoroughly evaluated to make sure they’re not faking it.
Random Stuff:
Sometimes I read US Weekly . . . all the time at the airport. Order Venti Americanos with an extra shot. Wondering why no one in LA is from LA. Got a pedicure one time. Talk with a lisp. Drink a lot of beer. Like sitting nowhere by myself and gazing. Silently judge people I don’t know. Openly judge people I know. Still think its sort of funny to mimic people in a high-pitched voice.
Appreciate the air guitar but would like to see the air DJ get its due credit. Can’t dance . . . unless I get really really really really drunk, in which case I still can’t dance but I will. “Uh-huh” is my favorite word.
Things I've learned on match:
1) Winking doesn't work in real life, 2) everyone here wants someone who's "smart and funny" and everyone here is "smart and funny" (if you describe yourself as dumb and boring please contact me immediately), 3) everyone "works hard but knows how to have a good time" (there's some lazy people on here . . . there has to be), 4) writing this profile is a universally excruciating experience, 5) winking doesn't work in real life (learned this twice hence #1 and #5) and 6) you can wink at yourself and then its your turn to reply to yourself (tried it).
Seeking:
slow, dim-witted, unattractive, boring, monotonous, drama-filled crazy woman. But if that doesn't fit you I'll consider making an exception.
