I could write some long-winded manifesto about how I teach archery to blind kids, or how I’m on a first name basis with Hugh Jackman (true story… kind of), but that is just plain boring. It also makes me seem like I take myself too seriously.
Let me summarize myself as simply as possible with the Cliff Notes on Greg:
I like baseball, no, I love baseball. Laughing and making people laugh is what makes life worth living. I have lived in one of the biggest cities in the world, and one of the smallest towns in the country… no stop light small. I do not, nor will I ever, own a ‘Keep Calm’ article of clothing. I have a Kindle loaded with over 1000 pieces of literature and have read three of them. To me, sexy is a quite confidence rather than a loud outfit. Ghostbusters is not just a movie, but rather a work of art. I own a tool belt and know how to use it. I can perform routine car maintenance. I taught myself how to cook and I must say I’m quite good at it. I listen before I speak. I’m a cuddler. Skinny jeans on men make me visibly angry, for that matter hipsters make me angry. I give to charity. Kids are awesome! Wearing a winter hat in the summer is stupid. I have a great job that I work very hard at…. until 5pm, than I don’t think about it again that night. DMX is a rapper, Drake is not. The Beach Boys are better than The Beattles, and both kneel at the feet of Sinatra. I don’t work out to have washboard abs, I work out so that I will be able to keep up with our kids someday … See what I did there, I just made your ovaries kick on. I cry at the end of Forest Gump. I saved my fathers life, and than sat next to him as he took his final breath a year later. I know that the real troubles in life are apt to be things that never crossed your mind, the kind that blindside you at 4pm on a run of the mill Tuesday. I love Christmas Decorations. I still have the security blanket from when I was born. I listen to podcasts. I still hand write letters. I can debate politics only if you agree with me. I have tried to create a Wikipedia page about myself roughly 22 times but they continue to take it down citing I have no significant relevance to society. I can act tough but I'm really a big softie.
Now for who I'm looking for:
A genuinely nice girl who takes pride in who they are where they have come from in life, values honesty, loves to laugh, isn't afraid to goof around and play in the dirt, can look just as sexy in tshirt and jeans as she does in her favorite little black dress, Doesn't take themselves too seriously, Can take care of themselves but wants me to want to take care of them, loves kids, works a normal 9-5, and finally just be nice.
Oh, one last thing, you must have to know how to throw a baseball.