I'm looking for a fairly wealthy woman with a few kids. Ideally, you would own a big house with a private apartment that has its own entrance that I can come in and out of. Yes, I'm moving in. It would also be great if you had a car that I could drive around because mine is in the shop. (I like convertibles.) Oh, I need my apartment to be cleaned at least twice a week as I don't like making my bed and I just throw my beer cans on the floor. Speaking of beer, what kind do you stock at home?
In exchange, I will do very beneficial things for you like taking your car to the car wash weekly, obviously I will need your credit card. I will also manage the gardener and even get the mail before you get home. I'm great at ordering food and making reservations for us to go out. PS - I will probably be out 4 to 5 nights a week with my friends. PSS - I think I would be too nice to your kids and give them too much candy so I wouldn't trust myself to watch them while you're out. (for their health)
If you're not laughing yet just click back. Thank you, goodbye.
If you are laughing, nice work. We may have a shot at this! The real question is why are you worth it? If your initial thought has anything to do with how you or I look in a mirror, you may need to do some reading on “beauty doesn’t last forever.” This I know: I VALUE people. GOOD people. People who CARE about others, people who have positive GOALS, people who have family VALUES. Let me use a metaphor (not an analogy) here: Looks get you in the door and to the first meeting, but looks don’t close the deal. Your ACTIONS, CORE, and INTEGRITY get you to finish the deal; not just in life but in dating. If you don’t believe that, you’re absolutely crazy.
To summarize, I think I’m funny. I also work extremely hard for what I have and take great pride in the people I choose to friend, trust and or date. Lastly, if this is going to work I hope you can bring more to the table than an awesome smile. Man, I’m a sucker for an amazing smile.
A final thought, if you are looking for someone who "likes dogs too," want's "similar interests," or "enjoys staying in or going out" I will probably make fun of you.