A little about me--
I'M A DYNAMIC FIGURE OFTEN SEEN SCALING WALLS AND CRUSHING ICE WITH MY BARE HANDS. I WRITE AWARD WINNING OPERAS. I HAVE NEVER TAKEN SECOND PLACE, BUT I HAVE BEEN CALLER NUMBER NINE AND WON THE WEEKEND PASSES. CHILDREN TRUST ME. I KNOW THE EXACT LOCATION OF EVERY ITEM IN THE SUPERMARKET. THE LAWS OF PHYSICS DO NOT APPLY TO ME. I SLEEP ONCE A WEEK; AND WHEN I DO SLEEP, I SLEEP IN A CHAIR. I HAVE PERFORMED SEVERAL COVERT OPERATIONS FOR THE CIA. I CAN MAKE EXTRAORDINARY 7 COURSE MEALS WITH MUSTARD, WHEAT AND A TOASTER OVEN. YEARS AGO I FOUND THE MEANING OF LIFE BUT FORGOT TO WRITE IT DOWN. I HAVE WON BULLFIGHTS IN SPAIN, CLIFFDIVING COMPETITIONS IN SRI LANKA, AND SPELLING BEES AT THE KREMLIN. I HAVE SINGLE HANDLY TURNED ENTIRE GANG INFESTED AREAS INTO LEISURE PARKS FOR THE ELDERLY. I SOME TIMES TREAD WATER FOR THREE DAYS IN A ROW. I WOO WOMEN WITH MY SENSUOUS AND GODLIKE TUBA PLAYING. I TRANSLATE ETHNIC SLURS FOR CHINESE REFUGEES. I COOK 30 MINUTE COOKIES IN TWENTY MINUTES. I GRADUATED 1ST IN MARINE CORPS BOOT CAMP WITH A BROKEN LEG JUST TO GIVE OTHER GUYS A CHANCE. I OPENLY DEBATE NOBEL LAUREATES ON PHYSICS , HISTORY OR ANY BONUS JEOPARDY QUESTION. I ONCE PERFORMED OPEN HEART SURGERY WITH A TOOTHPICK AND DENTAL FLOSS. I BAT 400. I AM A PRIVATE CITIZEN BUT RECEIVE FAN MAIL. I DON'T SWEAT. I ONCE DEFENDED A HONDURAN VILLAGE ON THE AMAZON BASIN AGAINST KILLER ANTS WITH A HOE AND ABOTTLE OF WATER. I CAN HIT SMALL MOVING OBJECTS WITH WIFFEL BALLS WITH DEADLY ACCURACY. I ONCE RAN AENTIRE MEXICAN PRISON POPULATION WITH RUTHLESS EFFICIENCY. IAM A VETERAN IN STUCCO,A EXPERT ON LOVE AN OUTLAW IN COLUMBIA. CRITICS WORLDWIDE SWOON OVER MY COLLECTION OF CORDUROY EVENING WEAR. I HELP DISADVANTAGED YOUTH AFTER SCHOOL. I AM A RUTHLESS BOOKIE AND YES I HAVE SEEN ELVIS..
i am actually just looking for woman to make my best friend..
