Ok, I'm going to be honest here and try to write a somewhat true representation of myself. I'm not here to deceive anyone or to pretend to be something I'm not just so I can come off more interesting or appealing. I don't want to be a wolf in sheep's clothing. (I've seen Catfish haha) Soooo, with that out of the way, here's my pitch!
Hmmm ok, I laugh at stupid things and sometimes laugh when it's inappropriate. I still believe in chivalry and I'm really good at holding doors open. But sometimes I'm terrible at remembering to open the car door for you or pull a chair out (from a table, not from underneath you). It's not that I don't want to I just forget...I really like to make people laugh. I think that's my daily goal. If I can get one person to laugh my day is complete! I have a weird pet peeve of people who over exaggerate the danger of picking up broken glass.
I'm always down to try new things. I've never done planking or cow tipping but if you're into that I guess I could give it a try it. Ok, I feel like I'm losing you and this needs some spicing up....Instead of me woefully describing myself you can read these testimonials.
"I'd stop our sessions and tell him all about my problems cause he's such a great listener." - former therapist
"He's the one that got away." - The Old Man in the sea
"He's so in touch with his spiritual self and is so positive!" - The Secret
"He's AHHHHHHHHHHHmazing!" - Oprah
"He makes me laugh so much I have milk constantly flying out my nose." - the cow
"He was the love of my life then was stolen away from me." - Jennifer Aniston
"I stole him out of this relationship then dumped him for Brad." - Angelina Jolie (totally understandable)
So as you can probably tell I can be a bit silly sometimes. Especially when it comes to writing dating profiles. I don't lack maturity and can be serious when it's time to be serious. I'm drama free, baggage free and have never boiled a bunny. (that's a crazy stalker reference)
What am I looking for in a woman? One that read this whole thing and cracked up.