One of my ex-girlfriends told me that I kiss like a retarded chimp on angel dust, but I'm not sure what that means. That's why I broke up with her. And my mom says that I'm a keeper, but I suspect that she means kept locked in a closet, in the basement. I really miss that closet sometimes.
I like everything HOT: hot dogs, hot chocolate, hot peppers, hot tubs, hot springs, hot weather, hot women, anything hot off the grill, whatevah. Yeah, you know EXACTLY where I'm going with this. Fire and brimstone baby!
I enjoy walks on the beach and the occasional kick in the teeth. Some of my interests are beating up high schoolers, dropping F-Bombs on the elderly, stealing candy from babies, naked table tennis, humping your leg, and hiding from the cops. JK! For fun I actually enjoy a full spectrum of activities. From bars and clubs to sight seeing and museums. Motorcycles to mini-golf. Skydiving to video games. If it's stimulating to my body and mind I'm down for anything.
So if you had a super-power what would it be? I would have infinite luck. Think about it, luck would trump everything. Clever I know. Long ago when I was a little tike I pretended to be Spider-Man and I wanted to save the world. Now that I'm older my perspective is far more realistic but I still have a desire to help people, or any living creature for that matter. And call me corny but maybe one day I'll be some lucky damsel's super hero. And indeed, even as a guy I still want to find someone who gives me that feeling of 'butterflies'. Someone who sets my heart on fire and makes me weak in the knees. Cheesy I know, but whatever.
The most private thing I?m willing to admit here: I've broken a few hearts and had my heart broken. I'm confident yet have my doubts.
Here are some random facts about the most amazing man you'll ever meet, ME:
1. Unlike these oter idiots, I know how to use spell shecker.
2. Eating LIFE cereal will cause me to vomit instantly, and I don't know why.
3. I am one of about 2000 people on Earth who possesses a certain skill. Ask me if you want to know what it is.
4. I have been close to dying twice.
5. I absolutely do not believe in ghosts. I've hunted them in numerous, apparently haunted places, but I have yet to find one.
6. I haven't been sick in 10 years.
7. I'm on a mission to make a difference in the universe and I have a heart of pure... living tissue! Gold is just ridiculous. I don't BS my way through life. I'm like a rogue cyborg, Indiana Jones, Rainman, and Van Wilder rolled into one.
So if you want to know about the deepest parts of my soul, shoot me a message. And if it seems we'd get along in some capacity, we'll go out there, make an awful lot of noise, and make everyone envious of the fun we're having ;-)
Be naughty, save Santa the trip.
