I'm going to do this in two parts.
Welcome! You're here reading this because I've sent you a very short email or less likely because you have found me on your own and I thank you for your time in either case. I've read thousands of these bios and they can range from entertaining to totally rotten.
I don't play games and I have zero tolerance for bs - you need to be on the same page.
What I want is simple. I want to meet you in public somewhere and buy you a meal, snack, coffee, or whatever you want - if you know a good snow cone guy I'm down. We meet, we talk, I pay, we go our seperate ways to refect upon our meeting. If we like each other then we can go from there. If we don't, we come back to match.com and terminate profiles.
I can't get any more direct than this.
I am a real down to earth guy, looking for a great girl to spend the rest of my life with. In the meantime, you'll have to keep me busy! Kidding, kidding... look, we're all here doing this kind of weird online shopping for people and it's difficult. Please do keep your sense of humor intact and never lose that optomism. I need you to be a strong woman. Why? Because I'm a strong man and we should compliment everything about ourselves every time we are together. Bring it into the light and let it be seen, you know? I want to rock your world and I expect to be rocked in return. You need me because I'm smart and you like a big man. I aint no featherweight, but you've seen the pics and you know this. I have the same size and build as alot of pro football players - if you're looking for the latte drinking tall skinny CK heroin chic California yuppie LA smooth talking surfer dude type, well I just don't fit the description do I? I drink regular coffee. I work hard at everything I do, and you better believe that translates to me working hard on you.
I can't get any more eclectic than this.