I was raised by a pack of wild squirrels (Crip squirrels), and the foliage surrounding city park lake in Denver was my shelter growing up...lived off the land in the park for many years, until a neighborhood petition resulted in getting locked up as a zoo exhibit. After being paroled, went back to the park, the only home I had ever known, and made a fortune catching crawdads and carp that were indigenous to the lake and selling them as pets on ebay (luckily was the first person to discover how cuddly and affectionate these creatures can become once domesticated)...unfortunately lost it all in Vegas with Kenny Powers and Cousin Eddie at an off-strip casino playing pick a number between 1-10, rock paper scissors, which hand is it in, and flip a coin :( so packed my dirty broke self into a 1992 Isuzu I-Mark (homeless man's version of a Hyundai Excel) and cruised to Missouri where I somehow managed to pick up a couple of degrees at Missouri State U and Mizzou...then moved to sunny Arizona where I sell stick-on tattoos to aspiring motorcycle gangsters and rappers on a budget...it's going pretty well...sales are up since last quarter...going full trucker effect on the deal...not saying, just saying. Also employed as a professional homewrecker on the side (aka divorce lawyer)...j/k, the homes are already substantively wrecked by the time I get involved - it's more a procedural process of cleaning up the debris in a manner so as to give a person the best foundation possible to start a new phase of life. Did I mention having sparkly vampire skin?? Well, I do...it's very very sexy and stuff...but it's in reverse of what most people are used to (i.e., my skin only sparkles when in complete darkness with no sunlight). So, there's that. Four other prefatory matters: 1) I have a pet shark and a flying car, which is obviously pretty awesome 2) Ok technically speaking I don't actually "have" a flying car anymore...traded it straight up for a unicorn farm 3) Took my pet shark to the orthodontist for installation of a full set of gold teeth the other day...looks really great! Sometimes I take her (yes, my shark is a girl) to the lake at papago park to swim free among other underwater life...but then its back to the tub...put sand and a few rocks and tree branches (i.e., driftwood) in there so she'll feel at home...it looks pretty much exactly like the ocean...only smaller and with no waves and less of a fishy smell and no sea-gulls...good stuff! 4) Not a big fan of chain restaurants like Chilis...prefer unique places with amazing food and drinks, great music and romantic atmosphere and lighting made for getting cozy and stuff...like this brand new place I just discovered the other day...I think it's called Applebees or Shenaniganz, or something like that (it's like, the best!)
A great woman is the ne plus ultra of all creations...looking to have fun and hopefully find a real connection with someone special...type of connection where conversation flows effortlessly and you never cease to make each other laugh, but you can also connect eyes and communicate without saying a word, where out of all the possible places and ways available to spend time on our planet there is that one person you want to share it all with who makes everything so much better because there is a mutual warm feeling deep in the belly and in the kiss confirming it's right...so, that being said, please don't wink or e-mail me if you're a complete train-wreck (anything up to a half train-wreck is acceptable). Also, just fyi and stuff...I melt for two braids behind the ears and over the shoulders...perfect mix of sporty and sexy...so hot!!
