Believe it or not, some women don't really like men obsessed with working out, they basically say, those men are not particularly smart...I do actually agree with that!
A week ago, a friend of mine (he is a real gym freak) told me: "I go to the gym 9 days a week"
so, at that point, I had to remind him that a week has ONLY 7 days!
And he goes: OMG! They're ripping me off then, thanks for telling me that, I will change gym immediately!! LOL
Also, why do women on MATCH say: "Guys, don't try to impress me with your car!"
But then, they're ALWAYS taking pictures posing next to exotic vehicles LOL!
P.S. The one featured in my picture is a actual Lamborghini in service with Italian Police Patrol car....so, it doesn't count!
No, you can't own one...however, you can always sit on its backseat and be broadcast on FOX every Saturday night at 8:00 p.m (BAD BOY, BAD BOY, WHATCHA GONNA DO!) LOL
RECIPE FOR A CLASSY MATCH.COM PROFILE!
RECOMMENDATIONS:
If you are unable to laugh, STOP reading then! :-)
- INGREDIENTS:
A bathroom, you should have one at home (I hope so). Better if its tiles are white, small, (these one sold at Home Depot for 55c per square feet are definitely the best!)
A mirror, that is very important, make sure is perfectly clean, so you won't get bad results when you take your profile picture.
A Shirt. (ONLY FOR GENTLEMEN) This one should be at least 5 ft. away from your body (DO NOT WEAR IT). I suggest you to leave it on a hanger in a closet.
A camera phone: its resolution must be very low...the maximum allowed pixel should be lower than 1, so you will get a real MUGSHOT effect. Very important, the flash must be ON so you will see the reflection in the bath mirror...and don't forget...from your CELL PHONE MODEL we could easily determine how old is your photo, even when you posted a comment on it like: "Me, last week" without stating the date! (So dumb! LOL)
LOOK AT MY MAIN PICTURE PROFILE...THAT'S THE REAL JOKE! LOL
Don't forget to pose like a stripper (better if you have a big lower back tattoo).
Don't worry if you have teenage children or a son who has just joined the MARINES....just LOWER your real age on the profile
(15% less if you are younger than 35 and 25% if you are over 40) and you'll be fine (Men will tell you what you want to hear anyway!) LOL
HEADLINES: The TOP 5 headlines on MATCH are the following:
#5 MUST LOVE DOGS! We all love them...but you sound so....90's!!
#4 LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE (Yes, that one is extremely boring!
#3 NEXT DOOR GIRL (Please note, usually these are the easiest girls on the Planet!)
#2 NICE LADY LOOKING FOR HER GENTLEMEN. Remember! MAN = SINGULAR...MEN = PLURAL
(See the INGREDIENTS for a perfect profile mentioned above! Yes, you followed all the steps but you still think that you're a lady!)
#1 LOOKING FOR A GOOD HEARTED MAN (Congratulations, you're one of the 5000 women who have chosen that headline! LOL)
Among all the above mentioned headline, we should add a 99.9% these who are living their lives at its fullest! (You don't still know what does that mean, but it's too late...you wrote it already!) LOL
