No one really reads these. They decide if they like someone based on the photo. Maybe, they briefly skim the profile to see if he knows "your" from "you're" and "there" from "their".
Let's be honest. Neither of us are all that thrilled to be on here. And, neither of us is getting any younger.
And, if I don't get married and have kids soon, my parents are gonna think I'm gay.
So, if you're still reading at this point, I'll give you my spiel.
I'm smart. Stupid smart. I mean, very smart. Really. Very. You're never gonna win an argument. Ever. Sorry. Most people can't handle that. I know I couldn't.
And, I'm not unrealistic. I'm not searching for an intellectual equal. I'm just trying to find a nice girl whose looks rival my intelligence.
I'm pretty apprehensive about this thing. It seems strange to look for a "nice girl" on the internet when most of the girls I've seen on the internet have no clothing on, and/or are doing unspeakable things.
I've never actually been on a "Match" date, and doubt I will. I'm just actively browsing. So far, it seems that every girl on here has a sense of humor, loves dive bars, and appreciates sarcasm. I've traveled to over 20 countries and dated girls from every background and never met one who possesses any of those 3 qualities, let alone, all 3. Crazy.
And, it is impossible to figure out what any of you actually look like. Rather than putting a picture of yourself; you all put up 20 pictures of the same group of 3 to 6 girls. So, I have to scroll through everyone and try to figure out which girl is in every shot. It's exhausting. Maybe, you're (not your) single because you surround yourself with hotter chicks. Try getting uglier friends. Works for me.
Not that I'm any Adonis. Nor am I all that photogenic. Actually, I intentionally chose the worst possible pictures of me. After all, what is the point of working your ass off to get rich, if girls are just gonna want you for your good looks?
I really do believe in and wish I had that storybook romance with a HS sweetheart. And that I was on my second or third version of her by now
But, it just didn't happen for me. Truth be told (not something I like to do). For the past decade or so, I was too busy working my ass off and drinking my face off to devote any time to a relationship. Hard work has gotten me to a place where I can afford to slack off a little bit and partying has gotten old.
Now, I want a real relationship. Based on real communication. Achieved through a thoughtful, healthy blend of sarcasm, satire, and Irony.
You still reading?
I guess I'll keep going, then.
Sports are my passion. Playing, not watching. I am insanely competitive. Another "quality" that is not the most endearing to the opposite sex. But, it has served me very well in every other facet of life.
I'm seldom serious. Never formal.
I'm a thinker. My brain never rests. Ever.
It also causes me to become easily distracted. Which doesn't work out so well on first dates.
But, it's never kept me from getting girls in bars. Which I am genuinely sick of. Truly. Which is why I'm on here.
And, I'm not just saying that. It's true. I'm really, really, good at picking up girls at bars. It's been perfected over the years. I sit there and drink. And when I see a really pretty girl, I just stare at her. Sometimes for minutes past the point of social comfort. Usually, they move to another section. Or whisper to their friends about the stalker/freak across the bar. But, sometimes, one of them approaches me and we hit it off.
So, I can always "get" a girl. But, I don't really want the girls i "get". The ones who approach weird guys in bars.
I want someone who is kind. A woman who is liked by kids and animals.
Who can actually tell when someone is being sarcastic and can really appreciate a good dive bar.
But, all I really want is a chick who inspires