Rev Up Your love Life With These Tips!

AprilFoolsNick

32 year old heterosexual English white male human, slightly used but in good condition

Close Window

AprilFoolsNick has been notified that you want to learn about him.

Check back after a few days & see if he has added more details to his profile.

CLOSE

Like
Tell him why you like this photo. close

SUBSCRIBE AND SEND loading

« »


Active over 3 weeks ago

34 year old man
Los Angeles, California, United States

Seeking:
women 25-39
Within:
10 Miles of Los Angeles, California, United States
Relationship:
Never Married
Have kids:
No
Want kids:
Someday
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Body type:
About average
Height:
5'10" (177cms)
Faith:
Atheist
Smoke:
No Way
Drink:
Social Drinker

 

ABOUT HIM & WHO HE'S LOOKING FOR

Hello! My name is Nick. I moved to LA a couple of years ago from London. I am English originally but I also hold Australian and New Zealand passports as a result of a lot of travel when I was a child. As a result, nowhere is what I'd call 'home', and I can switch nationalities on a whim as the social situation demands it. If someone says they fancy New Zealanders as a result of watching Flight of the Conchords you wouldn't believe how fast my accent changes.

I am easy-going, slightly reserved, relaxed, unfailingly polite, pleasant, and immensely nerdy, but I can hide the nerdiness amazingly well. You will suspect nothing, until it is far too late.

I know for a fact I'm nice because today I braked suddenly to avoid running over a cat.

I am always listening to music. My favourite artists include The Beatles, David Bowie, Fleetwood Mac, Kate Bush, Bat For Lashes, Roisin Murphy/Moloko, Prince, Florence and The Machine, Siouxsie and the Banshees, The Cure, The Sisters of Mercy, Underworld, Bat For Lashes, The Smiths, Duran Duran, Led Zeppelin, Chromatics, Wu-Tang Clan, and a ton of other stuff in all genres. Basically I like a lot of bleak, miserable synthpop. I like the sort of wistful, depressing music made for staring out of the window and crying softly. You can probably get a mixtape out of me without trying too hard.

I do martial arts basically every day so I don't become grossly obese as a result of stuffing my face with amazing American food. I've been doing it for about 7 years. I can break pieces of wood with my hands, all that stuff. I could almost certainly beat someone up who was much smaller than me and drunk. Anyone else, couldn't say for sure. Please don't get me into a fight with someone in a bar just to see if I am really tough.

If you and me are going to make this crazy thing work, it will help if you:

- Swear a lot, or at least sometimes. I swoon for girls who swear and make dirty jokes.
- Are nerd-friendly. You don't need to have a favourite X-Man but Watchmen is legitimate literature these days.
- Have some tattoos. I love tattoos, despite having none of my own.
- Are not really religious. I am not particularly concerned with what people believe but I maintain a pretty keen interest in sinning. If your religion allows sin, that is fine.
- Like the Beatles. I don't trust people that don't like the Beatles. What are you trying to prove?
- I don't understand people who write "I love to laugh" in their profiles. Do you just constantly laugh for no reason? Who are you, the Joker? Where are the people who hate laughing?

Here are some things I do that annoy my friends. If none of these sound that bad, man, it might be on.

- I cannot sit facing a wall in a restaurant.
- I drink really girly drinks. I have nothing to prove and like chocolate. If I want a pina colada at lunch then by god I am going to get a god damn pina colada and nothing anyone says is going to convince me it's inappropriate.
- I can't work out how much to tip in restaurants. Actually it's not that I can't, it's that I won't, because I resent having to do maths after dinner. If we ever got together you would probably have to do this for the rest of your life.
- I won't say 'bless you' when someone sneezes. It's stupid. I just won't.
- If people misuse the word 'literally' I will get quite picky. Correct usage of the word 'literally' is what separates us from the animals.
- I occasionally make TERRIBLE jokes. The kind of jokes your father would make. You're allowed to hit me afterwards.

Interests:
Book club, Coffee and conversation, Cooking, Dining out, Movies/Videos, Museums and art, Music and concerts, Exploring new areas, Nightclubs/Dancing, Political interests, Travel/Sightseeing, Video games
Sports & exercise:
Billiards / Pool, Bowling, Cycling, Golf, Martial arts, Running, Swimming, Walking / Hiking
Exercise habits:
I exercise 3-4 times per week
Pets:
Pet Essay:

I like animals. I'm not going to freak out when I see a dog or a cat, but I will pet it in a fashion that ensures I will retain my dignity. Don't expect me to baby-talk to a quadruped. They don't appreciate it.

Political views:
Liberal
Sign:
I don't believe in astrology
College:
I'll tell you later
For fun:

I just sort of swan about the city going to brunch and dinner all the time. My party planning committee handles the details.

Favorite hot spots:

I like Los Angeles, which is why I moved here. I like New York too, but I've seen too many films where people get shot to death in alleys to ever live there.

Favorite things:

I like all good music. My taste is impeccable and I am really pretty good at getting people into music they end up loving.

Last read:

Probably something super nerdy that I am too embarrassed to admit to.

ABOUT... HIM HIS DATE
APPEARANCE:
Height:
5'10" (177cms)
5'0" (152cms) to 5'10" (177cms)
Body type:
About average
No preference
Eyes:
Brown
No preference
Hair:
Light brown
No preference
   
LIFESTYLE:
Smoke:
No Way
No Way
Drink:
Social Drinker
Social Drinker, Regularly, Moderately
Occupation:
Technical / Science / Computers / Engineering
No preference

I make iPhone apps and websites. Objective-C, PHP, ASP.Net, LAMP, et cetera. I can fix your computer, but not immediately. In terms of intimacy, fixing someone's computer is approximately equivalent to kissing with tongues.

Income:
$100,001 to $150,000
No preference
Relationship:
Never Married
No preference
Have kids:
No
No
Want kids:
Someday
No preference
   
BACKGROUND/VALUES:
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
No preference

I'm so white I'm basically a really pale blue. If I lift my shirt and you look at my stomach you can see my internal organs through the nearly translucent skin (ok, not really).

Faith:
Atheist
Agnostic, Atheist

"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?" Atheists are hot. Partially because of the edgy devil-may-care attitude.

Languages:
English
No preference
Education:
High school
No preference

Held the record for most detentions received, 1994, Avondale High School, New Zealand. My highest academic honour. I got a job at 17 rather than go to college, working down the HTML mines.

Close Window

Your message has been sent to AprilFoolsNick

CLOSE

Close Window

We encountered a problem sending your message to AprilFoolsNick. Please try again later.

CLOSE

Finish by entering your Match.com sign in details.

This lets you sign in faster next time.

Continue
Already a member? Sign in here »

Close Window

Your message has been sent to AprilFoolsNick.

See More Like him:


view more »

CLOSE WINDOW