As the first day of 2013 rolls out, I am updating this area.
Everyone has a story. Mine is unique in its own way. I was married to the same person for almost 16 years. Yes, I am a former military spouse. No, there was absolutely no infidelity on my part. Yes, I followed him across the country to be by his side...living in 4 different states, 9 different houses, and numerous deployments. While I am proud to say that I didn't miss a beat when it came to supporting him throughout every aspect of his military career without wearing his rank, I am not proud to admit that all of that no longer matters. Of course, my heart has been obliterated. There is more to the story, but I realize that most men really don't care to hear about it, and if they do, they will ask.
I have two children who live with me. They are teenagers who keep me pretty active most of the time. I am a solid, sound, constant parent. This means they come first, as they should, and deserve absolutely nothing less.
Bitterness is my strong suit at the moment, and with good cause, but it needs to be replaced with Thankfulness. For I can be bitter as hell about all the things "HE" has done to me, the kids, my family, his family, but I would much rather be Thankful that I am learning as the scars heal. I'm working through it as best I can.
I've tried to imagine what it would be like without the one person who I couldn't live without and in doing so got smacked in the face with what I need to focus on, which is imagining what it will be like when I am with the one person who can't live without me.
I know I deserve to be with someone who doesn't strive to put themselves above everyone else, but instead put themselves beside the ones who they love and cherish. Not someone who will surround themselves in tangible items that can be replaced, but someone who knows the true meaning and value of things that cannot be seen, heard or touched.
Someone who doesn't fault me for who I am or who I am not.
Someone who does not expect more of me than they would of themselves.