Be not fooled by my ditziness or my intellect! My idea of moderation is playing both extremes. I have a potty mouth and a clean conscience. The yin and the yang! White skin with a black booty! What you see is what you get with me, but you'll never see everything! I'm hard to control, but easy to handle. Who actually reads this... I'm like a CHERRY: I taste good, but watch out for my pit, and if you're skilled, you can tie my stem in a knot when you're through with me. No wait, I'm like a LONG ISLAND ICED TEA: nothing like my name, a cheap and strong, but weaker when my ice melts, and great to have at a bar. No, I know what I'm like: a FINE WINE that gets sampled while it's still in the barrel and not yet ready. Awww...cheesy and cliched... Alrighty, I'm a GRANOLA BAR. It looks healthy and sounds healthy until you flip it over, study the label, and discover how much sugar is in it, but then you eat it anyway because you realize that in order for it to be authentically, naturally tasty, it needs some unhealthy stuff in it, and you're okay with that. That, and it's free trade unrefined natural cane sugar, so it must be good for you! ;) I applaud originality, parody, humility, curiosity, honesty to a fault, and genuine confidence. I deplore conformity, jealousy, violence, and materialism. (If you are addicted to something and you haven't been in recovery for at least a year, there is no judgement from me, but I do not want to date you. Also I've been around the block, and I talk about it on stage, but I've become more selective in my 30s. If you date me, you need to be comfortable with the fact that I've probably slept with a lot more people than you. This does not bother me, but many guys can't get over this hump. I'm no longer interested in hooking up randomly with people (been there, done that), however since I just got ouf of a serious relationship, I'm also not ready to hop back into anything serious. So things will move slooooowly both physically and emotionally. Traditional courtship is about the only type of dating I haven't done much of, and is my new novelty.
