I am a World Renowned Advice Columnist, Rock Star, Stalker, Reverend, Executive, Artist, Writer, and exotic dancer and pathological liar. OH NO....this is the part where I describe myself and my likes. Okay, I like to be treated like a total sex object, told what to do, and when to do it. I like to do everything you like when you like it and how you like it. I never, ever complain. I only want to serve YOU. I have no interests other than making you happy and I am dedicated to never, ever asking you..."does this make my butt look big?" I hate it when men buy me gifts and wine and dine me. I just like to walk hand and hand on the beach and I don't cost a thing to maintain. I love all sports and beer. Too much attention from my man bothers me. I hate talking. I will never, ever try to change anything about you. You are perfect exactly as you are. It's okay with me if you want to have sex with other women, do drugs, and lie and cheat. Nobody is perfect. I am filthy rich myself so I don't care if you don't have a pot to piddle in. All I want is to make my man happy all the time. That's all I want. I am a nymphomaniac but I only have eyes for YOU! One or more of these statements are false and I am not a pathological liar. NOW.....some of you boys think you just died and went to heaven! ... For those who think they found their soul mate when they read my ad....Well.....this is the part where I tell you the sad news... YOUR NOT DEAD AND YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE WITH ME! Please turn now and forever hold your peace.For those who (I swear you wouldn't think I would have to say this, but you would be surprised) know that I was being facetious, we do stand a chance. If you are a seriously committed to living for your highest good and the good of those around you, do not do drugs, smoke cigarettes and are not suffering from emotional problems and bogged down with excess baggage... we stand a chance. I am looking for a man whose choices and attitude reflect integrity, honesty, and sincerity. God is not something you heard about but rather someone you identify with. Your idea of commitment is marriage and you're okay with my not committing until we are committed to each other. DO I NEED TO SPELL THIS OUT?? I can....but then if I do....you're not the one for me. If you are a man who is not afraid to express love and compassion with a sense of humor or at least laughs at me....we stand a chance. And last my love, if you can handle a unique, out spoken, passionate, God loving woman with child-like qualities who lives life with purpose and direction and does like to be spoiled from time to time we stand a chance.. Will I spoil you??? Only if I love you. BUT don't let that stop you from spoiling me! LASTLY, BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, I think it's important to see if there is a physical attraction. Please do not respond without a photo AND then ask me to write you back if I am interested in one. WHY WOULDN'T I WANT TO SEE WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE? Unless you are the invisible man....I WANT TO SEE YOU! Sorry I had to yell at you....but this whole thing about "some of you" writing me, wanting me to write you to tell you I want a photo is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. WELL...I have heard stupider. Like that word for example. BUT YOU GET MY POINT. Here....a kiss if I hurt your feelings I didn't mean to, so please don't send "hate male." PS. I lied about my age. Remember I am a pathological liar! Oh yeah...you need to leave me an alternative way to contact you if you want me to respond.