I'm quirky and silly. I think too much. I love Jesus and potato salad. I am open and rarely fit into "acceptable" molds of anything, including my faith. I neither subscribe to strict evangelicalism nor strict liberal ideology. A good friend of mine from church the other day told me I was the least judgmental, most down-to-earth, realistic and non-condemning person he'd ever met, and that it meant a lot to him because HE didn't fit into popular "constraints" or "molds" of Christianity, either.
Every morning, I wake up and do what I'm supposed to do. The work that God has laid out before me. Regardless of my circumstances or my life's situation, I've been put here for a purpose, all for the glory of God. It is easy to get self-absorbed and I often do, but when I think outwardly and work on loving my neighbor, things get a little clearer and my anxieties cease for a bit. I think there's a certain sense that we can be "too self-aware," and that there is a lot to be said about the concept of self-forgetfulness, something Mother Teresa talked about a lot.
Politically I am usually more moderate to liberal. I am overly analytical. I tend to worry a lot. I laugh at really stupid humor. I would love to have a tattoo of the word "Grace" on my shoulder blade, as God's grace is important to me. Using my brain is important to me. I am very self-aware and curious about everything. I ask too many questions. I'm very inquisitive and in awe of the world around me. I'm serious, but I'm not THAT serious. I crack myself up. I dance in kitchens and clap my hands really rapidly when I'm excited. I talk to and answer myself, but it's just an endearing quirk, I swear! Hehe.
My "ideal match" is someone adventurous, curious, humble, a bit wild (not in an irresponsible way), someone who admits he doesn't have all the answers. Someone communicatively open and conversational. A bookworm. Someone who will go to see live music with me. Someone honest about his shortcomings. Someone who doesn't necessarily label himself too much, who realizes there really are gray areas and ambiguities in life. I consider myself a "struggling believer" and really don't believe that any Christian ISN'T just that. I want a helper, really. Someone who "gets me" and understands and accepts me, and vice versa.
Two of my favorite quotes: "Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace." - Frederick Buechner; "When I get honest, I admit I am a bundle of paradoxes. I believe and I doubt, I hope and get discouraged, I love and I hate, I feel bad about feeling good, I feel guilty about not feeling guilty. I am trusting and suspicious. I am honest and I still play games. Aristotle said I am a rational animal; I say I am an angel with an incredible capacity for beer." - Brennan Manning, "The Ragamuffin Gospel" (one of my favorite books).
Some things I'm good at include getting people, relating to people, seeing and understanding all sides to an issue, not always forming solid opinions (but rather, possessing malleable inclinations towards things) ;) Welp, that's about it for now. :) Oh, and most of my thinking consists of introspecting. I think about God a lot. I question and re-question my faith. I doubt. Then I hope again. Sometimes it's in a constant state of scrutiny. But I hope that makes me authentic and genuine rather than flaky. "Oh Lord, I do believe. Help me with my unbelief."
I'm amazing at Zumba. Jk, jk. I'm hilarious. ;)
