You’re single and have been on so many dates you’re thinking of turning “small talk” into an Olympic sport. You go into every date with the hope that you’ll finally find your prince; however, date after date, the only thing you wind up finding is another frog. You come home feeling disappointed and agonize over how to tell your friends — and worse, report to your mother that once again, there was no connection.

People start to wonder out loud what your “problem” is. They tell you that you’re just too picky and need to give people a chance. Slowly, you lose hope and become unmotivated to go out ever again.

Then, at last… you have a great date! Finally, you’ve met a normal man! The date is going amazingly well — you’re both laughing and smiling and even sharing food. Instead of looking at your watch and counting the seconds, you can’t believe that hours have flown by. When it’s time for the night to end, you couldn’t have planned it better. He tells you he had a great time, would love to see you again — and then gives you an incredible kiss goodnight.
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You run to the phone, thrilled that you finally have a happy tale to tell. You feel excited, hopeful and peaceful. Until it hits you. He didn’t “technically” ask you out again — he said “he’d love to see you again.” Your heart starts pounding as the pit in your stomach grows. “What if he doesn’t call…?”

You rationalize no one ever calls the next day — and you do remember he said he was working on a big project at the office. So, you imagine he’ll be swamped over the next few days, leaving you to decide on three — he’ll definitely call you in three days.

The next 72 hours are spent furiously checking messages, emails and dial tones. After the fourth day with no call, you begin to panic. You wonder if maybe he’s been expecting you to call him. Your mind starts playing tricks on you, and the agitation you feel has become unbearable.

Here are some tips to follow:
  1. Sit on your anxiety; he may still call. That panic you feel is related to your fear that this will be another disappointment — and you do not want to deal with another disappointment.


  2. Think about why there is so much riding on this call for you. This is not your last chance at love! This is less about him calling and more about how you feel about yourself.


  3. Some women think it’s nice to call or email him the next day to say “thank you” for a fun evening. This is an attempt to keep the connection going while alleviating your fear that he won’t call. But what about the next time? Are you setting a precedent here?


  4. Men are pursuers by nature, so if he’s interested, he will contact you. Try to stop worrying and go back to your life. Keep busy and keep dating. If he calls, great, and if not, you have to move forward.


  5. Most importantly, remember that you’ve only known this man for a few hours — think about that!
Understandably, there are always exceptions to the above. There are women out there who’ve pursued men and wound up living happily ever after because of it, but they are in the minority. As a rule, no matter how great the date, trying to force a connection only wastes energy. The longer you’re preoccupied with this guy, the further away you are from finding your real prince.



Visit Debbie Magids, Ph.D. at www.drdebbiemagids.com.