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Ready for your next adventure in single life? You've picked out a fab frock, sprung for a new hairstyle and invested in a bag of breath mints. Why not take a few minutes to consider your flirting technique before you head out? Here are six ideas you won't want to miss:
1. Master the art of eye contact
You know when it's happening. You're looking at him; now he's looking at you. Now you're looking away. Now you're looking again; now he caught you looking. It's the popular and dreaded game. Popular because it's fun and dreaded because—now what do you do?
Once you're sure you're both playing the game, try acknowledging it. Wave, smile or make some non-threatening gesture. Don't mouth any words, though; very few people can read lips and who knows what they'll think you're trying to say?
2. Take the direct approach
Want to learn the greatest pick-up line? The one that's mature, sophisticated, charming and versatile? Here it is: "Hi, my name is..."
Easy enough? Straightforwardness is refreshing and doesn't leave you with an image to maintain. A friend of mine was once charmed silly by a guy who approached her in a store and asked, "Will you be my friend?" It takes a particular personality and audience to pull that one off, but you get the idea.
3. Drop all pretense and be yourself
Just because you're flirting doesn't mean you need to put on your Don Juana alter ego. There's nothing creepier than flirting with someone who isn't visible beneath the charm. Be yourself and flirt in the spaces in between. (You're trying to meet a guy who actually likes you—the real you, right?)
4. Wag that silver tongue
Don't pass up the opportunity to make one honest, original, tasteful, cheese-free compliment: "You smile like you're really having a great time."
Don't press the point or pile on other compliments; just let the conversation move on. If you can pull it off gracefully, he'll love hearing about himself without being put on the spot.
5. Begin with body language
Be aware of body language—both yours and his. Does he lean in or pull away? Are you both facing each other? Are his legs crossed? This is the physical level of flirting, and if you're both into it, it's great fun.
Moving into and away from each other's space, people gently test the degree of mutual comfort and attraction. Don't take any touching lightly or rush into his space. A friendly touch on the shoulder or elbow, approached slowly, gives both of you a second to notice and appreciate that first casual physical contact.
6. Remember the kid in you
We've outgrown pulling pigtails and acting up, but flirting still has fun and innocent qualities. Plus, being silly relieves tension. Start things out with a good time, even if it involves napkin origami or playing bottle cap table hockey.
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What’s the best way to de-stress before a blind date? |
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30% |
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Working out |
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48% |
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Playing certain music |
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21% |
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Getting a pep talk from a friend |
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