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Guy walks into a bar. Sits down next to a pretty girl and pulls out a pack of cigarettes.
“Here,” he says. “For you.”
"No, thanks,” she says. “I don’t smoke.”
“That’s okay—these aren’t cigarettes.”
He pulls out a red silk thong.
“I’d love to see you in this,” he says with a wink. He drops the thong, with his name and number attached, on the bar and walks to the jukebox.
That conversation starter’s more likely to get you talking to the bouncer than the babe. Whether you’re online or in person, starting a conversation can leave you… well, speechless. Here are some tips for crafting an effective entrée.
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Common ground
If you meet at an art gallery, you can launch the conversation with, “I love the brush technique on this painting. How do you feel about it?” Or if it’s at the driving range, ask her for some pointers on your stroke or quit a few balls early and offer him your extras. Note: If you’re at a party, the old, “How do you know Bill?” line is pretty harmless, even if the person you’re talking to doesn’t know the host.
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Observation deck
Use your powers of observation. Is your intended wearing a sweatshirt with your alma mater (or your brother’s or mom’s or...)? If so, open with, “I went to Carolina, did you?” or something like that. Or if she’s got a noticeable accent, you might inquire where she’s from or what accent that is. Caution: Some observations won’t work. For instance, even if you do, announcing “I love your hair” sounds so much like a line it’s probably not going to have much real meaning.
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Out on a limb
If you’re feeling a little mischievous, you could give this a shot: “Do you have a sister named Michelle?” Of course, if your target does have a sister named Michelle, you might have to back pedal. But if not... Caution: If you have any interest beyond conversation, it’s best to come clean once the conversation gets started. Some people may find it charming that you concocted a ruse to meet them; others may decide they don’t want to get involved with someone who deliberately manipulated them.
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E is for effort
Avoid hackneyed phrases like, “Come here often?” “Didn’t I see you in a dream?” or “I like what you’re wearing. It would look good on my floor.” And unless you’re an astrologer, don’t even think about asking, “What’s your sign?”
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Old reliables
If you’re at a bar or the counter at a restaurant, ask him if he could make a recommendation. This one’s also good at retail establishments like the book or hardware store. Note: If you spy a hottie staring blankly at the items, you either can ask him which brand of whatever it is he prefers, or ask if he needs help choosing.
Regardless of the theme, the real success factor is presentation—especially for the fellas. Two guys could deliver the same cheesy line, but the one who appears genuinely interested will likely get the digits, while the one who seems to be on the make will end up talking to the hand.
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What’s your biggest dating issue? |
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58% |
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Meeting the right kind of people |
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22% |
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Knowing how to chat people up |
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20% |
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Having confidence |
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