Decode His Halloween Costume
Ladies, here’s what a man’s Halloween garb (whether a superhero or Satan) tells you about his true nature…read on and learn!
et’s face it, we girls put a lot of time and effort into planning our Halloween costumes, whether we’re going out with a group or with a date. But the guys? Some think nothing of stripping off the bed sheet and turning it into a toga just moments before walking out the door. More enterprising fellas might actually put more time and effort into it. What really counts, however, is his costume choice, not how long it took to toss it together—because a guy’s get-up can send strong signals about what really makes him tick.
To help you decode, we got the scoop on five of the more popular
guys’ costumes. We asked dating diva April Masini, author of Think & Date Like A Man, and pop-culture freak Jael McHenry, editor-in-chief of Intrepid Media, to do the analysis:
|You may want to steer clear of that fella in the Satan get-up.|
Masini: “He’s telling you he wants to be your knight in shining armor, the guy who saves you and does it all for you. He’s got a traditional sense of values and a conventional heroic outlook on his being a man. If you’re looking for a white picket fence and a couple of kids, this could be your guy.”
McHenry: “Superman is the cherry-red sports car of Halloween costumes. He’s covering something up. Anyone who feels the need to sport the big “S” emblazoned on his chest wants you to think he’s super—because he’s afraid he’s not. Run.”
Verdict: Hung jury. Does he make you feel like Lois Lane or does he make you want to find some Kryptonite?
Masini: “He’s got a bad boy thing going on. He recognizes his dark side, and celebrates it. He may be selfish in bed. He may also be a bit of a player and less of a commitment guy. If you’re looking for a good time, short-term, this could be your guy. If you’re looking for Mr. Right, you may want to keep on looking.”
McHenry: “Pirates are tricky. If he’s an old-school pirate who has cobbled his costume together from some old sweats, a bandana, his roommate’s girlfriend’s blouse, and a $2.99 eye patch, plus a sword he made himself from cardboard and tinfoil, that makes him resourceful and fun. If he has
bought the entire Disney-approved Jack Sparrow-branded Pirates of the Caribbean outfit and worn it exactly according to the package directions, don’ do it. You want a man who thinks for himself, not one who follows the crowd. Yarrrrr.”
|The guy in a vampire costume is likely to come on very strong.|
Verdict: If you like mischievous men, you can sail into the sunset with this guy. If not, tell him to walk the plank.
Masini: “A vampire costume exhibits his sexual prowess. This fella doesn’t want to save you or rob you like Superman or the pirate. He wants to ravish you and make you his.”
McHenry: “A dude dressed as a vampire is probably going to come on too strong. He’s looking for an excuse to put his mouth on your neck. This costume is the most blatant excuse for groping since that guy you knew in college with the scrubs and the ‘Free Mammograms!’ sign.”
Verdict: If you’re looking for a Halloween hookup, he’s the man. Just have him home before dawn. If not, keep that garlic necklace handy.
Masini: “The devil sees himself as the one to rile things up. This man will never be boring. He’s always going to look for the fun in things.”
McHenry: “Girls wear devil costumes to be sexy. Guys wear them because they worship Satan. In my book, there is almost no good reason for a man to be walking around a Halloween party with a pitchfork, unless he’s dressed as a farmer. Stay away from this one.”
Verdict: If you’ve got a devil-may-care attitude, carry on! If not, keep looking for your angel.
That’s your cheat sheet to common costumes. And remember, any guy can go against type—maybe he was late to the costume shop and had to take what was left over. You don’t need to judge a book solely by its cover (or a guy solely by his costume), but you don’t want to miss any red flags, either. So give that get-up a careful once-over to see what it reveals… and have a howlin’ Halloween.
Also this week in Happen: Decode Her Halloween Costume
North Carolina-based freelancer Margot Carmichael has written for Playboy and Go, among other magazines.