How to Find a Date… FAST!
|Need to find someone you really like to accompany you to an upcoming wedding or reunion? Here, how to turbocharge your love life.
ou have to find a date for your cousin’s wedding… or your office party… or your high-school reunion. Whatever the occasion, you need a companion — a nice one, not an escort type! — and you need one immediately! Fret not: Employ these simple strategies, and you’ll have an amazing someone on your arm in no time.
Tip #1: Call for reinforcements
You know how they say it takes a village to raise a child? Turns out it sometimes takes a
village to get a date, too. “Now’s the time to tell all your trusted friends, family members and co-workers you’re looking for a set-up,” says Los Angeles psychologist Jennifer Brown, Ph.D. Put out as many feelers as you can.
|“I sent out an email blast to everyone I knew saying I was looking for a blind date.”|
That’s what Jamie, 36, of Seattle, WA, did when she needed a date for her nephew’s bar mitzah. “I sent out an e-blast to everyone I knew saying I was looking for a blind date,” she recalls. “Within an hour, an old friend called to set me up with her cute next-door neighbor. I’m happy to report that it was a great date! Because I didn’t show up alone, I didn’t have to endure prying, ‘What, no boyfriend?’ questions from my elderly aunts. Plus I met a really nice guy—not The One, I admit, but a great guy nevertheless.”
Tip #2: Give a so-so date another shot
Remember that low-spark date you went on a while back? It might be time to reconnect. Who knows—the chemistry might have changed between you for the better, like it did for Bob and Jill of Glendale, CA. “I asked Jill out again six weeks after our first date,” recalls Bob, 29. “Although our first encounter didn’t knock my socks off, I needed a date for a holiday party and figured I’d give things another try. That second date was magical—we’ve been together for almost two years now, and are still going strong!”
If sparks didn’t fly the first time around, it just might be worth another shot, agrees Dr. Brown. “Maybe someone is having an off night—they got stuck in traffic, had a bad day at work, or aren’t feeling well,” she says. “Unless you just had an absolutely horrible time, one more date might just be in order. Who knows? It could be a love connection the second time.”
Plus, when you’re in a pinch and need a date fast, calling on someone you already know has its benefits. After all, you’ve already passed that first-date, getting-to-know-you awkwardness, and you know what you’re getting yourself into. So what if they’re not Mr. or Ms. Right? They just might be Mr. or Ms. Right-for-Now… and could even transform into something more!
Tip #3: Be single and love to mingle
Tomorrow, instead of going straight home after work, hit happy hour or a coffee bar with friends and co-workers. Look your best, and talk to at least three potential dates. “It might
sound like a no-brainer, but your odds of scoring a date fast will definitely increase if you’re around other singles who are looking for love,” says Dr. Brown.
|Invite everyone you know to a soiree at your house, and ask them to bring friends.|
Not into the bar scene? Bring the party to you! Invite every single person you know to a soiree at your house, and ask them to bring friends. Being the host or hostess with the mostest is a great way to meet new people and scope out potential dating prospects, according to Lissa, 39, of Venice, CA. “This is one of my favorite dating moves,” she says. “After a summer cocktail party I threw on my apartment building’s roof a few years back, I collected six phone numbers!”
Tip #4: Up your wink ratio
Your assignment: To spend an hour on an online dating site and “wink” at everyone who interests you. “The goal is to cast a wide net and see who bites,” says Dr. Brown. “Take a second look at those you might ordinarily dismiss for some minor reason. Open your mind to the possibilities.” Send emails to all the suitors who wink back within 72 hours. Once you have a meaningful exchange going, say something like, “I have this event to go to on Saturday night. Are you game?”
This strategy was successful for Jennifer, 40, of Montclair, NJ. “I was normally super-picky about the people I contact on dating sites, but when I needed a date for a friend’s upcoming graduation dinner, I decided to ‘target’ ten different sorts of guys online. Not all of them were my typical ‘type’—but they all seemed like great in their own way.” She ended up dating several of them (and thankfully scored a date to that graduation dinner). The best part? One of those ten men is now her husband! “If I didn’t have that graduation dinner to go to and let down my defenses,” she concludes, “I doubt we’d even be together today.”
Julie Taylor has written for Cosmopolitan and Redbook, and is the co-author of How to Be a Dominant Diva. When she’s needed a quick date in the past, she’s made the first move and asked guys out. It works!