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Do Men Date Smarter?


Okay, I’ll admit it. We women could learn a thing or two from you men about dating.

By Randy B. Hecht

ot that women should start acting like men in their dating lives. When a man dates a woman, he wants her to act like a woman—even if that’s what drives him crazy (in the best and worst senses).

But the way you guys think about dating, the way you approach the whole process? There’s no question about it, you’re smarter than we
You can be ready to go way faster than we can.
are on that score. Way smarter. Consider the evidence, even if some examples seem extreme:

Prep time
You can be ready to go way faster than we can. While we’re emptying our closets of half their contents in search of the perfect look, you’re donning a pair of casual pants (if we’re lucky) topped by a shirt that only qualifies by virtue of its not being on the laundry pile (if we’re lucky).

While we’re hauling out our haircare and makeup arsenal, you’re thinking, “What the heck? I shaved yesterday.” And you never make footwear decisions on the basis of how close you’ll be to our height in that particular pair of heels. Smart. Very smart.

Initiative.
You take the bull by the horns. Er… you know what I mean. You don’t build your dating life around the hope that we will ask you out. You don’t sit sweating by the phone, waiting for us to call.

If you want to go out with us, you ask us out. We ought to turn the tables on
If you want to go out with us, you ask us out.
you more often than we do; too many of us don’t really know what a kick it is for you when we take the initiative and ask you out.

Be here now
That’s right. There’s a certain Zen quality to your dating perspective that totally eludes us. Visions of silver and china patterns rarely, if ever, dance through your heads on a first date. When your friends ask you the next day how your date was, you say, “It was good,” or “I had fun,” or maybe even “I like her.” You do not go into an intricate analysis of every word, every move, every expression and tone of voice you detected and reflected on, at a level of detail and total recall that would turn world-class government spies green with envy.

Nope. That’s what we do. And your way just seems to be the better approach to living in the moment and having a good time. Not that I can do it, you understand. But I can appreciate it with a kind of grudging admiration.


Randy B. Hecht is a freelance writer who frequently contributes to Happen magazine.
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