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Long Distance Relationships


What’s the best part of the online dating phenomenon? You’re no longer confined to dating only the people in your bubble. When you think about it, you’re not just opening yourself up to people right outside of your town, you’re meeting the whole world.

By Elsa K. Simcik

o now that you’ve found your French fox or your hottie from Hoboken, you’re gonna need more than cyber smoochin’ to keep this long-distance relationship alive.

When two people enter into an LDR (so common it has its own acronym)
You’re in an LDR, not on your deathbed.
they need to be prepared for some ups and downs. For example, LDR couples sometimes go for long periods of time without a mere peck on the cheek. But on the other hand, they’re a lot more excited to see each other than CPR (Close Proximity Relationship) couples. Okay, I made up the CPR but I’m hoping it’ll catch on.

If you’re currently in an LDR or thinking of staring one, you need to keep a few things in mind:

Weekend cramming
Most LDR couples have a similar visiting schedule: it starts Friday night with tears of joy and ends Sunday night with tears of sadness. That’s not a lot of time in between tears—you’ve got to fit in a lot of activities, right? Not necessary. You’re in an LDR, not on your deathbed. Instead of rushing from the zoo to miniature golf to a candlelight dinner, try relaxing on the couch with a movie (a very CPR-type activity).

P.S. —I miss you
There are all sorts of ways to keep in touch with your long-distance love:
The two of you need to make a plan to live in the same city at some point.
phone, email and nothing says “I love you” like a good old fax. But these can all get stale and routine—the usual emails to plan the next weekend, the typical phone call after 9pm when you have free cell phone minutes… Try snail mail. Who doesn’t love to get a card in the midst of all their bills?

Get a life
You must have something going on in that town of yours if it’s keeping you away from your significant other—a great job, your family, a lease that isn’t up for another two years. Remember to keep that part of your life going, too. You can’t spend Sunday through Thursday holed up in that unbreakable-lease apartment.

Have a little faith
If you’re gonna go for the LDR, you have to realize you can’t keep an eye on guy or gal all the time—even if you do have a web cam. So what can you do? Trust ’em. If you don’t, you’ll become paranoid every time you call and get the voicemail. Then you’ll run around, frantically trying to send an emergency fax.

All of these are important to keep in mind because they’ll get you through this temporary stage. That’s right. All LDR’s should be temporary. The two of you need to make a plan to live in the same city at some point. Yep, one of you is gonna have to give up that successful dream job or that rent-controlled apartment or the free room at Grandma’s. But it will all be worth it. Because eventually we all need a little CPR.


Elsa K. Simcik is a freelance writer in Atlanta. Her work has appeared in newspapers and magazines including The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, The Dallas Morning News, Texas Parks and Wildlife Magazine and CNN.com
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