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Woo A Man? Yes, You Can!

No need to wait for that new guy to romance you. Seize the romance reins and charm him senseless.

By Phineas Mollod and Jason Tesauro

ver since the invention of same-day flowers, men have been striving for the perfect way to woo women. But in this age of stay-at-home dads and female presidential candidates, women are just as likely to be the ones doing the wooing. And trust us, the fairer sex is not only allowed but encouraged to share the romancing duties. Here, then, is how to stockpile your own supply of Cupid’s arrows.

Get hands on
Be the first to break down the touch barrier. Even if it means finding an excuse to pick lint off his sleeve, get your hands on him early and often. Once
Get your hands on him early and often.
skin-to-skin contact has been established, the door is open for him to respond in kind. Smart men play follow the leader, so dish out exactly what you’d like in return, from forehead kisses to neck nuzzles.

Jump him
You initiating physical overtures is a big turn-on for us. Kiss him hard when he least expects it, or jump him when he sets foot in the front door. Initiating — rather than just waiting for him to do the honors — demonstrates your desire and gives him a huge ego boost that prompts him to return the favor down the line. Besides, the appealing threat of one of your romantic “sneak attacks” will keep him well-groomed and on his toes.

Make like Agatha Christie
Maintain a little mystery—don’t always tell him everything about what you did that day or who you saw. Air-tight alibis are for marrieds, not single folk. This move turns you into an alluring woman, with your own secret life, which your guy will find so intriguing. Of course, too much mystery might make him wonder if that trick up your sleeve is a husband, but if you simply practice the occasional radio silence (“Sorry, left my cell phone at home all day”) or offer a cagey reply once in a while (“Can’t make it… I’m meeting a friend”), you’ll have him right where you want him.

Feed his ego
A well played compliment about his chiseled physique/sharp sense of humor/cool clothes shows that you’re looking for more than a friend with benefits. Want to really make his night? Give a nod to his cute way of asking you out. You also can’t go wrong with keen observations on his slick shoes, dashing dimples, rugged build, or killer intellect.

Practice your bedside manner
A nurturing woman makes any man feel totally adored. A waiting martini for an at-home happy hour, a foot rub after a run — nothing that smacks of motherly love — calms and pampers your beau. And lest this sound like a recipe for nurse, not a girlfriend, keep in mind the logical progression from back rub to bath tub to you-know-what.

Confess you’re obsessed
This is a bold play, but worth it: Tell him you were thinking about him this morning/afternoon/very minute. If you want to hint at something sexier, confess that he was in
Tell him he was in your dreams last night.
your dreams last night. Even if your REM was PG-13, let his imagination wander. Infrequent shout-outs, via a quick text or email, are a great way to tell him he’s on your mind.

Stage a seduction
When the stars have aligned, play the no-nonsense seduction card and stage an evening at your place. Your typical guy isn’t always very observant, and your subtle clues may not have penetrated his brain. A Mae West-esque whisper of “Come up and see me sometime” is one hint that’s hard to miss. Make him dinner, pull together an indoor picnic, or simply spread the pillows and see if he cottons to your evening of chocolate-covered strawberries and woo.

Play social director
In early dating, guys are so used to being the ones who call/plan the date/ask the lady out/pay for everything, and that’s fine. Yet, once in a while, a man can’t resist when a cool gal buys a round of drinks, sets out an agenda of fun, or is the first one to say, “Hey, let’s get together Friday night.” Besides, in the online-dating realm, you don’t need to worry about seeming overly forward, since everyone’s intentions are already outlined in their profile (sometimes over many, many paragraphs). Plan a night you know he’ll enjoy, and your thoughtfulness will be returned many-fold.

Be (a bit) naughty
Men love to see a little vixen-like mischief in a lady who’s not above the occasional dirty joke. We like when you remove your glasses mid-evening and let down your hair, stay out a little later during an especially fun evening, steal a kiss (and more) in public, or otherwise shows your willingness to try new things. Don’t worry—we’ll still respect you in the morning.

Lobby for our hobby
A “guys’ girl” is a lady who can hang with us (and our buds) any ole time. She talks a little baseball, loves cycling, likes stereo equipment or the latest MP3 gadgets, and doesn’t consider herself above the occasional beer and plate of chicken wings. He may not promise to take up knitting in return (though male crochet clubs are growing in popularity), but your interest in his hobbies will pique his interest in you.


Phineas Mollod traded his J.D. for the editorial life and is often found riding the congested E train with his wife and daughter in New York. Jason Tesauro pushes pen and ink by day and leads the MGAffairs.com lifestyle seminar series by night, ne'er far from his sweetheart and a Brady Bunch houseful 'o tots in Virginia. Together they are the authors of The Modern Gentleman: A Guide to Essential Manners, Savvy and Vice and The Modern Lover: A Playbook for Suitors, Spouses, and Ringless Carousers.
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