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Win Over Her Friends


It’s simple: If her friends don’t like you, you’re pretty much doomed. Here's how to wow her pals.

By Laura J. Schaefer

omen count on pals for advice and analysis… and one of our favorite topics of conversation (after we’ve addressed politics and current events, of course) is the “State of Our Union.” You need to make every effort to ensure that these talks don’t start with, “So… what is it you see in him, exactly?" After you’ve convinced her that you’re pretty great, you had better convince them.

Treat her exceptionally well in their presence
Her pals will be paying attention to how the two of you relate, so be the perfect
They need to see that she is in good hands with you.
gentleman. A gentleman is above all attentive to his girlfriend’s needs. Don’t be shy about holding her hand or getting her a glass of water from the bar. They need to see that she is in good hands with you.

Get to know them
Chances are she has some terrific people in her group of friends. Ask questions about their work and their lives and be an active listener. They’ll appreciate it, and your girlfriend will be impressed when you remember all of their names and occupations. Be careful, though. If you find out their signs, you’ve gone too far. The key is to be low-level charming with them and clearly crazy about her.

Enlist their help to plan a romantic surprise
This is a clincher, but you can’t do it right away. After you’ve met the best friend a few times, you could get her help to plan a surprise birthday party or a romantic getaway. By consulting her friends, you’re sure to get all the details right while showing them how much you really care about her. “I really enjoyed planning a dinner party for Melissa with her boyfriend Adam,” recalls Jessica, a lawyer in California. “He wanted to surprise her because she had just gotten a great promotion. I was very impressed by the time he put into it. She was so happy!”

Respect their time together
Girls need time alone for brunch,
If she managed to overlook your white socks, it must be true love.
camping or shopping once in a while. Don’t lose points with the pals by disrupting their weekly garage sale romp with a burst of possessiveness.

Dress to impress
If she managed to overlook your white socks, it must be true love. Her friends won’t be nearly as forgiving. “Jason was very nice,” says Elaine, 29. “But I was having a hard time getting over the fact that his pants were about two inches too short. Yeah, I’m tough, but Denise deserves the best.”

Abandon the macho man routine
The only women in the world that can stand it are the ones on Elimidate. The rest of us are much more interested in wit and intelligence. Make them laugh, but don’t make them wince. If you’re genuine and kind, you’ll do just fine.


Laura J. Schaefer is a freelance writer.
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