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Guys - Pump Up Your Profile


Remember, the idea is to make us think you’re great, not to make us think that you think you’re great. To get the job done, try incorporating some of these tips into your profile.

By Randy B. Hecht

ey, guys: Are you tall, handsome and athletic? Do you have a high-powered executive career, a six-figure income and a fantastic car? Do you work hard and play hard? Do you like moonlit walks on the beach and romantic fireside evenings? Are you equally comfortable in jeans or a tux?

Yawn.

Tell us what makes you tick, what makes you happy, what makes you feel alive.
I’m not saying we’re high-minded angels, that we’re a thousand times less shallow than you are, or that we’re unmoved by a nice set of buns. But if you want to grab our attention and hold it, you’ll have to do better than that.

Show us your values
If you’ve got a great relationship with your parents, your siblings, your children, tell us. If you’re passionate about your work (not your income, your work), share your enthusiasm with us. Same thing if you’re the creative type, an avid traveler, a volunteer with your favorite charity, a political activist or a devoted pet owner. Tell us what makes you tick, what makes you happy, what makes you feel alive.

Give us examples, not lists
Let us see your best qualities in the way you express yourself. If you’re smart, funny, caring — whatever — don’t tell us. Show us. A single line or offhand comment that makes us smile will be worth more than a photo of the greatest abs ever displayed on the Web.

Treat us with respect
Remember, women generally are more sensitive to nuances than men are. If the list of adjectives you use to describe your ideal match places
We know how important that
ever-elusive
“chemistry” is.
“gorgeous” and “sexy” before “intelligent,” we’re going to notice. If you’re 40 and looking for a woman ages 21 to 30, we’re going to notice. If your body type is “average” or “a few extra pounds,” but your match must be “slim/slender” or “athletic,” we’re going to notice. And we’re going to draw conclusions about you that will not improve your chances of getting a date.

Express openness to new experiences
True, the technological wonders of a search engine make it possible to seek a romantic partner who is exactly like you, except with different body parts. Naturally shared interests and experiences are part of what make a relationship tick, but let us know you’re interested not only in sharing your world, but also in exploring ours.

Show a little emotion
We know your interest in women is visually driven. We know how important that ever-elusive “chemistry” is. But let us know that your search is about something more than checking us out for five seconds and then passing judgment on us. Tell us you have the ability to connect with us emotionally, that communication matters to you and that you have a heart, as well as hormones.


Randy B. Hecht is a freelance writer who frequently contributes to Happen magazine.
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