Dating Diary - One Woman’s Story Part 14

Her ex has returned… and is begging for a second chance. Should she trust him or steer clear? Find out her surprising decision ahead.

By Maggie Kim

isappointed by the fallout from her fling with James, Maggie is determined to straighten herself out in the dating department. But a phone call from her ex, D., has turned her life upside down. Could he want her back? If so, should she take him back? Read on to find out the answer.

Sunday, 8:00 a.m.
I can’t sleep. I was up till about 2 a.m. on the phone with D. last night.
I’m nervous and scared. What if this isn’t for real? And even scarier, what if it is?
It seems he’s had some sort of revelation and now realizes that I’m the woman for him. We talked about everything that happened between us, how he cut out when things started getting too serious and how I’ve spent the past few months getting over him. But he promised that things will be different and that he’s completely sure of his feelings. He said he can’t live without me and that he wants to start over.

While it was really great to hear those things (I mean, what woman doesn’t want to know that her ex has been pining away for her?), I just don’t know if I can get past, well, the past. Back when I thought D. was The One, he pretty much stomped all over my heart Is this something I can — or should — get over so we can try again?

Tuesday, 5:19 p.m.
I was hoping my therapist Mary would give me the right answer when it comes to D., but she basically said that I had to decide if I wanted to take the risk with him again. She implied that most women probably wouldn’t give a guy like him another chance, but she also said that it sounds like things are different on his end. He’s never talked about the future before and now he is. He even mentioned us moving in together soon.

Mary did appreciate that D. is taking full responsibility for his awful behavior and that he knows how much work it will take to win back my trust, but ultimately, the final call is up to me. Great. God knows I’ve had terrible judgment when it comes to men before. How am I supposed to know I’m making the right decision?

Thursday, 12:55 p.m.
Well, my friends are in two camps about D. The die-hard romantics think I should go for it. This is the guy I’d imagined settling down with, so now that there’s a chance for us, why would I pass it up? After all, how many men have I ever considered as a real “future” possibility?

Meanwhile the cynics think I should tell him to get lost and/or drop dead. “A leopard doesn’t change his spots,” warned Debbie. And Allison thinks he’s quite possibly the
I know they don’t want me to get hurt again.
biggest jerk on the planet. Bry has only one comment when it comes to D. “He made you cry.”

I can certainly understand my friends who don’t want me to get back together with him. They’re the ones who took care of me when I was an emotional wreck after our breakup. I know they don’t want me to get hurt again, much less deal with another round of the Maggie and D. relationship rollercoaster. But the split decision here is not helping me out! I wish things were more clear-cut.

Friday, 3:21 p.m.
D. wants to take me to Paris for a “rebuilding our relationship” vacation: He says he wants to lay all his cards on the table because he knows how much he hurt me in the past. He says he wants to take care of me and lay the foundation for a new, honest and open relationship and he wants us to do it someplace romantic. Paris definitely fits the bill. Should I go?

Sunday, 6:38 p.m.
I’m on my way to the airport. Yep, I’m going to Paris! The deciding factor? I was talking to Leonard about it and he said, “Go. You’re not going to figure this out without spending some time with him and whichever way it works out—at least you get a trip to Paris out of it!” Good point.

I’m nervous and scared. What if this isn’t for real? And even scarier, what if it is? Is D. really The One? Am I ready to put all the trials and tribulations and excitement of dating behind me? Could this be the start of a whole new — and less tumultuous — chapter in my life? I guess there’s only one way to find out....

After getting back together with D., Maggie decided to discontinue writing Happen’s Dating Diary so that she and D. could work on their relationship in private. And as of press time, we’ve learned that they’ve gotten engaged! We hope you’ve enjoyed reading about her adventures. To read the previous installments of Maggie’s column, click here.

Maggie Kim ( is a rock musician in New York City.

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