Dating Diary - One Woman’s Story Part 13

Her secret romance has been found out! Here, how she copes and does damage control. Plus: a phone call from an ex she never expected to get.

By Maggie Kim

aggie’s dalliance with her drummer has blown up in her face. His girlfriend found out, he’s quit the band and he refuses to talk to Maggie—all while she’s cross-country in L.A. to shoot her music video. Will she be able to salvage anything from the mess? And what will she tell her band?

Friday, 10:17 a.m.
I’ve been in a daze ever since James called me last week to tell me his girlfriend read his email and found out about us. But I’m also pissed that he then texted, telling me never to
After everything that’s happened, should I speak to him?
contact him again and that he’s quit the band. So in a fit of anger, I emailed him a biting, accusatory email—about how he came onto me as much as I did him, how it takes two people to tango and how he should at least come clean about that, if not to his girlfriend, then at least to himself. I hope his girlfriend read that email!

In any case, I decided to do some damage control and emailed the rest of the band to let them know that James was no longer in the band because his girlfriend didn’t want him playing with me. It’s not too much of a stretch, and God knows we’ve had that problem before with the girlfriends of musicians forcing them to quit (and I hadn’t even kissed them!). The search for drummer #7’s going to have to start once I’m back in New York. Anyway, I’ve got other things to worry about. We start shooting my music video tomorrow. I’m hope it looks good. I hope I look good because I really need a pick-me-up right about now.

Saturday, 9:58 p.m.
Whew, I’m tired. We shot for nine hours today. While I was in hair and makeup for two-and-a-half hours, I had plenty of time to think about James. No response to the email, not that I was expecting one. I just can’t believe that he can be so cavalier with me. I guess he’s too busy trying to “win” his girlfriend back to even think about me. I’m sure he’s painted me as some sort of evil seductress he was duped into kissing or something. As if I held a gun to his head to make out with me. Ugh! Anyway, I’ve got to sleep. I’ve got an 8 a.m. wakeup call.

Monday, 3:22 p.m.
At the airport, waiting for my flight back to NYC. Still no word from James, and I should probably stop expecting to hear from him again. Now that I’m over being mad (sort of),
I can’t wait to go home and just rest.
I’m pretty down. I’m just disappointed. Again. Because he’s got some great qualities. Ones I think I’d want from a real boyfriend, sans the cheating, of course. And I can’t help but blame myself for getting into this sort of situation—again. When am I ever going to learn? It’s a good thing I’ve got a double session with my therapist tomorrow. I can’t wait to go home and just rest.

Tuesday, 4:10 p.m.
After crying my eyes out during my session with Mary today, I feel somewhat better. She doesn’t pull any punches and told me I have to stop this cycle of being with the unavailable guys, but she told me not to beat myself up over it, either. It happened. Learn the lesson and move on. But what am I moving on to?

Thursday, 11:14 p.m.
I’m back home from auditioning some new drummers and just got the weirdest message—from my ex D. He said he desperately needs to see me to talk about something and to “please, please, please” call him back. He really did sound desperate. But after everything that’s happened, should I even speak to him again?

Maggie Kim is a musician ( who’s living and dating in New York City. To see her music video, visit

Click here to read the previous installment of this dating diary. Click here to read the next installment. Click here to read our guy writer's diary.

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