Is He A Dream Date?
Find out what it’s like to go out with a doctor, a firefighter, a musician, and other guys that women fantasize about.
our mother always wanted you to end up with a nice doctor while your teenage self probably fantasized about going on tour with the lead singer of a rock band. Now that you’ve grown up, your tastes have gotten a bit more sophisticated, leaning towards strong, sexy, smart and talented types like writers, firemen, and yep, doctors. So what would it really be like to date one of these guys—amazing… or amazingly disappointing? Well, to find out, we spoke to women who actually lived the fantasy and dated these guys. Here’s what they had to say about the experience.
Dream date #1: Firefighter
“Without a doubt, Derik was a hunk—great body, rugged and totally manly. He was hot in his uniform, but even hotter out of it! My biggest complaint was that his
entire life revolved around the firehouse and his ‘boys’ there. After his work shift ended, he still wanted to hang out at the firehouse and cook dinner for everyone. When you date a firefighter, you get the entire firehouse. Also, being with a man’s man went hand-in-hand with dealing with his chauvinistic attitudes. He believed that a woman should do woman’s work like cleaning and getting him beers. That just didn’t fly with me.”
|“My photographer boyfriend was great about telling me how gorgeous I was…”|
—Olya K., 29, Long Island, NY
Dream date #2: Doctor
“Paul and I dated for three years before getting engaged. I come from a family of physicians so I knew what to expect—good and bad. Being involved with a doctor definitely has its benefits: I’ve quickly gotten appointments with specialists since Paul has friends in a variety of fields; when I go to the hospital for a test, the staff knows me; and Paul can reassure me when I don’t feel well (I remember being concerned about a mole on my back and Paul had a look and told me it was nothing). But when it comes to his own symptoms, that’s a different story. Being a doctor, he sometimes over-reacts to the slightest sign, I guess because he knows the worst-case scenario. And he can get called to the hospital at any hour, on any day (including special occasions and holidays), so planning things in advance is really tough. And his crazy hours mean he’s always tired, so intimate moments aren’t as frequent as we’d like. Plus, medicine is not as lucrative as people think it is. Before we got married, my mom told me the life of doctor’s wife is not glamorous. Now I know she’s completely right! But it is nice to always have a doctor in the house, but it’s not the cushy life they lead you to believe it is in the movies.”
—Claire G., 34, Long Island, NY
Dream date #3: Comedian
“Ironically, it’s not funny being with someone who’s always worried about being funny. My guy Jim always had to be ‘on’ and it was exhausting. I loved his sense of humor—it was what I was attracted to in the first place, but he never knew when to be serious. Sometimes, I wanted to discuss something I read in the paper but Jim had to make a joke or wry observation about everything. War’s not a laughing matter, in my opinion. Plus everything you say might go into your boyfriend’s act. I dated him for years, and after we broke up, another one of my friends caught his new act. It was all about me—and apparently it wasn’t flattering. Definitely not funny!”
—Susan M., 39, Philadelphia, PA
Dream date #4: Fashion photographer
“My photographer boyfriend was great about telling me how gorgeous I was, and he loved taking pictures of me, whether they were snapshots or major projects he was working on. He made me feel like a supermodel. But telling women how beautiful they are while taking their picture was his job! After hearing about another audition with hot, 20-year-old models and seeing the fruits of his labor — photo spreads with scantily-clad glamazons — my insecurities really got the better of me. The final straw was when we went to another chic fashion party and just about every dewy-skinned, size-2 beauty rushed up to say hello, and he simply basked in the attention. That’s when I realized that enduring mind-numbing small talk while getting looked down upon by girls I’d seen in magazines was part of the job description of being a fashion shutterbug’s girlfriend. I wound up quitting pretty soon afterward.”
—Anne L., 28, New York, NY
Dream date #5: Screenwriter
“There’s something glamorous about dating someone in the film industry. And if you’re dating a working screenwriter, he can work from home and he’s got plenty of money. So
Kevin and I could sleep in late, spend the day together and go to fancy restaurants at night. But he’d get really depressed if he was ‘blocked’ or if a
pitch meeting didn’t go exactly how he wanted it to. I also got tired of his starry-eyed descriptions of Hollywood players. Screenwriters are on the outskirts of fame, and I think my ex-boyfriend always wanted to be in the thick of it, so I’d have to listen to endless stories about parties where he got to rub shoulders with A-listers, but really only got to hang out with C-listers. It was kind of depressing.”
|The trouble would start when we got to the restaurant.|
—Meg K., 33, Los Angeles, CA
Dream date #6: Restaurateur
“Greg always knew the hottest new places with the best food and was happy to take me there. We had some really great dining experiences—at least when it came to the food. The trouble would start when we got to the restaurant. It was the same every time: He’d carefully study the entire menu and when the waiter would come to take our order, he’d ask a zillion questions about how something was prepared or what it came with, until finally he’d mention, ‘I work in restaurants, too,’ and drop the name of his place. It was so embarrassing because most of the time, the waiter would be like, ‘Who cares?’ He also couldn’t talk about anything besides the restaurant business. It was such a small, competitive world. I actually would have to ask that we talk about something else.”
—Maria F., 32, Darien, CT
Dream date #7: Musician
“Dating a famous musician was definitely exciting. I loved seeing Bryan perform to sold-out crowds. And being someone’s muse — he dedicated an entire album to me — was unbelievable. But unless you’re willing to give up your life to be a touring rock star’s girlfriend, you don’t see each other for weeks or months at a time. And the groupie cliché is true! I remember one very well-known rock groupie who came backstage after a show because she wanted to sleep with my boyfriend, even though he’d already introduced me as his girlfriend! She wouldn’t leave until my boyfriend finally asked her to go. But I always wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t been there that night. I loved the thrill of being a rocker’s girlfriend, but lack of stability — and commitment — went hand in hand with it, so ultimately I had to end things.”
—Lisa B., 32, Washington, D.C.
Maggie Kim (maggiekim.com) is a rock musician and writer in New York City.
Wondering about the other side of the story? Read Meet The Woman Of Your Dreams, also in this week's edition of Happen.