Dating Diary - One Woman’s Story Part 10

Having fallen hard for yet another unavailable guy, our writer seeks out a therapist. Will a little head-shrinking help? Answers ahead.

By Maggie Kim

ed up with her dead-end relationships, Maggie finally bit the bullet and saw a therapist, Mary, for the first time. But despite the professional help, she hooked up with her unavailable drummer, James, again. Maggie made a promise to herself not to get close to James again, but will she be able to keep that vow?

Tuesday, 3:15 p.m.
I’m starting to feel more comfortable with Mary and our therapy sessions. Now that
With James, it’s no more late-night phone calls, no more flirting in between rehearsals.
she knows my whole sordid dating history, I feel less awkward and idiotic when I’m whining about the men who are in my life. Or more precisely, who aren’t in my life, considering my inclination for unavailable dudes. It seems I’m a textbook case. And here I thought I was so unique my whole life!

Thursday, 11: 32 a.m.
I’m doing better with keeping James at a distance. Just rehearsals and shoptalk about the band. That’s it. No more late-night phone calls, no more flirting in between rehearsals. It’s making my life a little dull, but I can probably use a break from all the drama.

Friday, 8:50 p.m.
Erica and I are going out tonight. She’s broken things off with her married dude — thankfully — and there’s already another guy in the picture! So she wants to tell me all about it. Can’t wait to hear. I’m always amazed by people who can move on so quickly from relationship to relationship. Like Paris Hilton. I mean, where’s the down time? The depression between engagements? I just don’t get it. Maybe Erica can give me some tips on how to rebound.

Saturday, 2:02 p.m.
Well, Erica’s new guy sounds solid, stable and is apparently head over heels for her. So of course, she’s completely bored. What’s wrong with us women? Because God knows, I’m the same way. I can probably count 3 or 4 guys who treat me like a queen, would
Why can’t I find a nice guy who’s also exciting.
jump at the chance to date me, and I’ve got zero interest. My therapist insists that once I start figuring out my issues that I’ll start liking these nice guys. But why does it always have to be an either/or thing? Why can’t I find a nice guy who’s also exciting and sexy and dashing—is that so impossible?

Anyway, Erica has decided to try things out, despite their lukewarm chemistry. I told her that she can try it out for the both of us and let me know the results because so far, I can’t bring myself to date anyone I’m not completely hot for.

Sunday, 4:41 p.m.
I met a real cutie last night! Lara and I stopped by this bar that I’d been hearing about for ages and the bartender was just so cute and sweet and funny and smart and I could go on and on. Things are a little complicated, though, because Lara really liked him too and wanted to invite him to a party we were going to afterwards. She gave him the address, along with both our phone numbers and told him to call us when he was done with his shift. Lara and I went to the party, and he wound up calling about an hour later saying that he wouldn’t be able to stop by. I don’t know who was more disappointed, Lara or me.

But… when I got home later, I noticed I had a voicemail. It was from the bartender, Christian. Apparently, he’d called me first! He said how it was great meeting Lara and me and how he couldn’t make the party because he had to get up early in the morning AND he didn’t want things to be weird because he could tell Lara liked him, but he liked me! Whoa. It’s not like Lara staked a claim on him just because she thought he was cute, but I also don’t want to fight with my girlfriends over a guy. It’s just not worth it… or is Christian worth it?

Maggie Kim is a musician ( who’s living and dating in New York City.

Click here to read the previous installment of this dating diary. Click here to read the next installment. Click here to read our guy writer's diary.

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Would you buy someone a holiday gift that you've been dating for less than 6 months?

Yes, if I want the relationship to continue

Maybe, but only to avoid seeming rude

No, that's too early to exchange gifts

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