Astro Love - How To Fight Right

• Quoting (correctly) a WWII or Civil War officer

• Giving it your all

• Personal attacks

• Bringing your father into it

At ease in combat but prefers passion play

• Agreeable stalemate

• Invading personal space to convert anger to passion

• Passive-aggressiveness

• Booze

Internal combustion before external explosion

• Making a cake from scratch to change the mood

• Comparing the situation to a sitcom you both like

• Ignoring his feelings

• When he knows that you’ve talked to your mother, or worse, his

Tolerant until it hurts even you

• Insisting on going out for dinner

• Watching Beaches together

• Staying away until she settles down

• Sarcasm, no matter how smart you think you are

Not attentive enough to remember why they’re angry but argue anyway

• Distracting him with TV political pundits or talk radio

• Red wine, a good argument (about anything) and making up

• A hug

Likes to argue when there are hair-tossing opportunities

• Getting a real rise out of you

• Assurances that you’re both smart and once in a while someone has to be wrong

• Devil’s advocates of any kind

• Stalking

Sidles out of the room if there’s a hint of disagreement

• Quiet, calm statements

• Reassurance of love, loyalty and home-cooked meals

• Emotional blackmail (although he’ll try to use it)

• Getting other people to pitch your cause

Don’t-even think-of-messing-with-me vibes underneath lamb’s clothing

• Shifting the mood with a soothing touch

• A crisp Pinot Grigio to gently make your case

• Shouting

• Pulling God into it

Good-humored in battles, a generous winner and ill-tempered loser

• Offering face-saving ways to give in

• Candlelight, vintage wine and a long talk about his success

• Anything that looks like disrespect

• Telling him he’s being selfish

Not interested in conflict unless there’s Truth involved

• Large and luscious jewelry

• Reminding her that petty things are beneath her

• Peevishness or pestering

• Explaining that your side saves money

Prone to being right or sounding right through exhaustive knowledge

• Base your argument on your concern for his health

• Convey that winning the argument would be very meaningful and special to you

• Any kind of shouting especially with expletives

• Trying to wear him down with sheer repetition

Strong debater but avoids all-out combat

• Put the argument on hold, send her for a massage, then resume

• Agree to go on a diet

• Cutting off her sentences

• Flipping the bird or any other vulgarity

Hates conflict but will take a stand when pushed

• Calm, sensible, low-key conversations

• Explaining how your point of view is classically upheld in great literature and hoping you don’t have to back it up

• Raising your voice

• Tell him he’s a wuss or any other name-calling

Will avoid fights unless she knows she can win

• Quote someone she admires

• Avoid fighting at all costs

• Insults to her looks or intelligence

• Pretending you don’t care

Deep, dark and ruthless combatants

• Respect

• Selling your viewpoint to him with extra benefits

• Being ethical, scrupulous and expecting the same in return

• Ultimatums unless you mean it

If you win, you might not see them again

• Reassurance of your respect and love

• Machismo without the smarm

• Pulling out something from the past to leverage your cause (because she’ll be able to out-do you)

• “You’re cute when you’re angry”

Swift, energetic confrontations that usually don’t mean much

• Comparing your argument to wrestling with vicious animals

• Down-playing how important it is to you

• Taking a cell-phone call

• Telling him he doesn’t know what he’s talking about

Agile conflict-deflectors but will roar when pushed too far

• Really sound logic delivered with pulpit-style persuasion

• Letting her shout it out

• Pecking the subject to death

• Dramatic, illogical arguments that attempt to invoke the spirit of Jack Nicholson (or other devilish movie star) in order to win with charm

Passive to the point of withdrawal and then go in for the kill

• A good P&L

• A gentlemanly atmosphere--like a roaring fire, single-malt scotch and leather chairs

• Losing control and letting him see it

• Talking to his friends behind his back to get them to back you up

Wide-eyed, stoic, but play-for-keeps when it counts

• A sound compromise in which she gains something, preferably financial advantage

• Upholding values and playing on that virtue

• Pulling rank, assuming a fatherly persona, or anything patronizing

• Begging

Slow, torturous consideration--a close twin of passive-aggressive.

• Willingness to lose

• Appeals to the general humanity and greater good of your side

• Trying to get a rise out of him

• Flip charts, PowerPoint presentations or anything else that smacks of The Establishment

Either contrary to the point of near death…or easily convinced – you won’t know until you try

• Letting her come around in her own time

• Red wine, good music, and a long evening

• Being certain you’re right

• Underestimating her in any way

Lilting arguments that preferably end in bed with a hangover

• Subtle appeals to his sense of survival

• A careful cocktail of love, liquor and lust

• Threats

• Anything with mundane details or dreary facts

Engaging and energetic until she becomes The Freezer

• Bringing love and a nice bottle of wine into it

• Having a sense of humor

• Throwing down a sword, gauntlet or other manly gestures that make her roll her eyes

• Ugliness in word or deed