Dating Diary - One Woman’s Story Part 11

At long last, our writer finds herself attracted to a guy who’s available. Will she go for it, or continue hoping taken man James will come around?

By Maggie Kim

aggie’s been keeping her distance from her drummer James and even met a cute bartender, Christian. Only one problem: Someone else Maggie knows has her eye on Christian, too. Should she forge ahead anyway, or does this love triangle only spell more trouble… and get her mooning over James again?

Monday, 3:12 p.m.
I’m still thinking about the message that Christian left me over the weekend. Well, probably because I keep playing it over and over again. Finally, I found a guy who likes
Finally, I found a guy who likes me—and is available.
me—and is available. And from the brief amount of time we spent together at his bar, I like him, too, and would definitely want to get to know him better… but then Lara called me today and was saying how much she liked him, too. I didn’t want to burst her bubble by telling her that he’d called me, but then I felt bad about lying. I also don’t want to encourage her with this crush because a) I like him, and b) he likes me back! But then I just feel like a heel. Lara has so many problems with dating, and I don’t want her to think I’m swooping in on the one guy she’s crushed on in like a year. But Christian’s the first guy I’ve crushed on since James… last month… OK. Am I just being selfish and greedy? Aargh...

Tuesday, 4:47 p.m.
Mary, my therapist, thinks that I should just come clean with Lara and let her know that Christian declared his like for me. That way, Lara won’t continue having an unrequited crush, and I’m free to pursue a guy who’s available. It seems like sound advice, but at the same time, Mary doesn’t know Lara. Once Lara stakes her claim on a guy, that’s it. He’s off-limits even if he doesn’t even show any interest in her. It’s totally fifth-grade, but aside from this immature character trait, she’s a great friend. And even though I’ve got problems with guys, it’s not for lack of them being around, which is the case with Lara. So, I think for the good of our friendship, I’m just going to forget about Christian—and hope she does, too, since he’s clearly not interested.

Wednesday, 11:03 p.m.
So me giving up Christian — yeah, I’m such a martyr! — has just made me get moony over James again. He really is so cute, and we had a great rehearsal tonight. We’ve
Lisa’s going to kill me if I’m not on that flight.
got a big gig coming up soon, so I’ve been cracking the whip at practice. His girlfriend is back in town so he’s being pretty good about keeping the flirting between us to a minimum. So much the better, I guess.

Friday, 1:20 p.m.
Yippeee! This director named Lisa I met a couple of years ago called and wants to do a music video with me!! I’m flying out to L.A. next weekend — right after my NYC gig, actually — to shoot it. I’m so excited!!!

Monday, 12:34 p.m.
Have been crazed going over production details for the video all weekend. I’ve met with the stylist, and Lisa found a great hair and makeup artist. All that’s done and now we’re figuring out concept. The good thing about being so busy is that I don’t have time to think about any boys or, more specifically, boy troubles. Christian who? James who?

Wednesday, 10:15 p.m.
Our gig is tomorrow night. We go on at midnight and then I have to wake up at 6 a.m. to catch my flight to LA. Ahhhhh!!! I’m bringing a huge suitcase full of clothes and shoes because the stylist wants to make sure I have options. Packing starts now!

Friday, 9:21 a.m.
Ohhhh, I’m miserable… I’m at the airport, having completely missed my flight and hoping to get on the next one. Lisa’s going to kill me if I’m not on that flight. And did I mention that I’ve got a major tequila hangover and James regret? We had an awesome gig and a group of us went partying after. I was flirting up a storm with James. Everyone soon left so it was just the two of us and of course we started kissing, and then we got into some drunken conversation about what we’re doing, his girlfriend, etc. He said he’s never been interested in anyone since he’s been with his girlfriend; I told him I really, really liked him… it was good to get it out in the open, but it really wasn’t the best night to stay out until 3 a.m.! This morning, I raced to the airport and missed my flight by 5 minutes. I could just shoot myself! And what’s going to happen with James? It certainly seemed like maybe he likes me enough to break up with his girlfriend… but will he actually do it?

Maggie Kim is a musician ( who’s living and dating in New York City.

Click here to read the previous installment of this dating diary. Click here to read the next installment. Click here to read our guy writer's diary.

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Would you buy someone a holiday gift that you've been dating for less than 6 months?

Yes, if I want the relationship to continue

Maybe, but only to avoid seeming rude

No, that's too early to exchange gifts

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