Dating Diary - One Woman’s Story Part 5

This week, a great new guy enters her life. But are feelings for her ex holding her back? Here, the surprising measures she takes to move on.

By Maggie Kim

n the last installment of Happen’s dating diary, Maggie realized she might still be in love with her ex, D. That’s only made getting out there on dates more difficult—but this week, a great new guy enters her life. Is there a catch? Yes… and a big one. Read on for the scoop.

Sunday, 7:50 p.m.
The band and I had to have auditions for a new drummer. We’re up to drummer number six, I think—ugh. In any case, after a few guys who were either
In walked the most gorgeous guy I’ve seen in ages.
too old, too drunk or too rhythmically and/or stylistically challenged, I turned to Bryan, my guitarist, and said, “That’s it. Our next drummer has to not only be good, he’s got to be hot! I want a good-looking band, damn it!” He rolled his eyes at me while the next drummer boy hopeful knocked on the door. “Come in!” I yelled.

And in walked the most gorgeous guy I’ve seen in ages. Tall, blond, blue-eyed, built like a swimmer. His name is James, and when we shook hands hello, there was a total spark. The best part? He was a rad drummer! So he’s part of the band. But I’ve got a cardinal rule: Don’t mess around with band mates. What am I going to do?

Tuesday, 3:13 p.m.
I cut D. off. He’s been emailing and texting since last week, but I’ve refused to answer. I’ve literally had to sit on my hands sometimes not to write back, but I just don’t see how anything’s changed since our breakup two months ago. He doesn’t want to let me go, but he also doesn’t want to offer me any commitment. It makes me too sad, not to mention pathetic, to hang onto this slim hope that he’s changed and he’ll come around. This feels almost as depressing as when we first broke up. Why do I do this to myself?

Wednesday, 10:28 p.m.
Had a great rehearsal with new drummer James. He’s so good, a dream to work with. And he can sing backup! He’s a lot of fun, too, and everyone else in the band is as impressed as I am. Although I don’t think his blue eyes are making them weak at the knees. Anyway, he mentioned a girlfriend, so he is totally off limits… right?

Friday, 8:44 p.m.
It’s Friday night. I’m dateless and home alone. Have spent about half an hour Googling D. to see if there were any new pictures of him at some fab party with some hot new
Nothing like Hugh Grant to make a gal feel better.
model. Didn’t find anything, but feel worse for being so utterly lame. Thank God, Chinese food’s here. I’m settling in to watch Notting Hill. Nothing like Hugh Grant to make a gal feel better.

Sunday, 2:32 p.m.
My friends tried to do an intervention: They forced me to go to brunch and are insisting that I have to go out at least three times a week to “put myself out there.” Beri thinks I need to be open to the possibility of dating other guys or else I’ll never get over D. She has a point, but look what happened with Ivan, the last guy I dated! I tried getting out there while still being in love with D., and my conclusion is it doesn’t work. I’d have to meet the most amazing guy in the world to forget about D., and quite frankly, I don’t know how many of those there are in New York. I think I just have to get over this hump. I mean, how long can that take?

In the meantime, Robbie slipped me the number of his therapist. He thinks I’ve got a serious problem with commitment — hence all the unavailable men — and need professional help. Maybe he’s right.

Monday 11:05 a.m.
Had rehearsal last night. The more I find out about James, the more I like him. He’s not only a super-talented musician, he’s really smart and has some fantastic ideas about music. He’s like the perfect guy, except that he’s taken. After rehearsal, I asked him if he’d give me some private drum lessons sometime soon. He was all for it, but am I treading in dangerous territory here with yet another unavailable dude? Hmm… Where’s that therapist’s number?

Maggie Kim is a musician ( who’s living and dating in New York City

Click here to read the previous installment. Click here to read the next installment. Click here to read our guy writer’s diary.

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