Dating Diary - One Woman’s Story Part 8

Is she falling for yet another unavailable guy? And what the heck is he thinking about what happened? The startling answers ahead.

By Maggie Kim

n the last installment of Happen’s dating diary, Maggie gave into her crush on her new drummer, James, and had a major make-out session with him after their first gig. The problem? He’s got a live-in girlfriend… does their budding romance spell trouble for the band—or Maggie’s self-esteem, which is still shaky after her breakup with her ex? Read on for answers.

Monday, 11:26 a.m.
James and I had a long talk last night. We decided to write off the whole kissing thing as a side effect of the post-gig high.
Practice was awkward tonight. I tried not to look at James but wound up sneaking peeks.
They don’t call it sex, drugs and rock ’n roll for nothing! But really, it’s a weird situation since we’re in a band together, and of course there’s his girlfriend. So we’re just not going to bring it up and pretend like everything’s normal. Which it totally isn’t, but what else can we do but try?

Wednesday, 10:41 p.m.
Practice was awkward tonight. James and I spent the whole time trying not to look at each other. I’m hoping none of the other guys in the band noticed. It doesn’t help that I still think he’s about the cutest guy I know—and I kept sneaking glances at him when I could.

Thursday, 3:20 p.m.
Now I’m moping. I can’t believe I’m in YET ANOTHER situation with an unavailable guy. I mean, didn’t I learn my lesson with D.? Do I need to get my heart stomped on again to really learn it? I think I’m going to have to seriously consider seeing a therapist.

Sunday, 5:12 p.m.
Robbie took me along for a gay boys’ weekend in the country. We had a great time. Hiking in the woods, cooking big dinners and shopping at cute vintage stores in town. I went a little crazy and snapped up a bunch of gorgeous, one-of-a-kind dresses. I’m incapable of passing on fabulous clothes that I know no one else will have. Let’s hope I find some occasion to wear them.

Robbie and the boys are convinced I should start with a therapist ASAP. Apparently, all of them are or have been in therapy — some for years — and they swear it’s helpful. Hmmm. That might be easier to believe if they weren’t all in dysfunctional relationships or dating situations themselves…

Monday, 11:30 p.m.
Just got off the phone with James. We had another one of our long talks on the phone. And much as I know I shouldn’t be talking to him about anything other than band stuff, we fall back into this flirty banter thing. It’s so much fun—and totally wrong. I know that, too. OK, I’m calling that shrink tomorrow.

The Philly crowds are always cool and really into music.
Tuesday, 10:15 a.m.
I made an appointment with Robbie’s shrink. She sounded nice, at least. My session’s next Tuesday so I guess we’ll see. Meanwhile, a friend who’s in a band in Philly asked if we’d come down to play a show with them next weekend. It should be fun. The Philly crowds are always cool and really into music.

Wednesday, 12:10 a.m.
We had a great rehearsal tonight. James and I seem to have gotten over all the weirdness and everything is back to normal. Plus the band is sounding great. The boys are all excited about the Philly gig. Road trip!

Friday, 11:13 a.m.
Last night, my friend Erica and I traded stories about our “affairs.” Granted, mine’s still pretty PG-rated, but I felt better knowing I’m not the only one who’s treading some major gray areas in the love department. Erica and her married guy are still going strong. She says his marriage is all but over, but she’s not sure she wants to be involved in a messy divorce and its aftermath. I wanted to point out that she’s already involved, but figured she wouldn’t appreciate it. Besides, who am I to throw stones?

Sunday, 2:05 p.m.
James and I talked before rehearsal. He’s feeling major guilt over the kissing and thinks he should fess up to his girlfriend and hope she’ll forgive him. What?! I’m in a major panic, because I know he’ll have to quit the band if he tells her—and that means I might never see him again. How am I going to convince him not to tell her? Should I just go for it and let him know that I have some real feelings for him? Or would that just make a bad situation worse…?

Maggie Kim is a musician ( who’s living and dating in New York City.

Click here to read the previous installment of this dating diary. Click here to read the next installment. Click here to read our guy writer's diary.

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Would you buy someone a holiday gift that you've been dating for less than 6 months?

Yes, if I want the relationship to continue

Maybe, but only to avoid seeming rude

No, that's too early to exchange gifts

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