Dating Diary - One Woman’s Story Part 6

Is it OK to have a crush on a guy who’s got a girlfriend already? Our writer is about to find out—and about to make one very tough decision.

By Maggie Kim

n the last installment of Happen’s dating diary, Maggie successfully cut off communication with D., the guy who broke her heart and kept stringing her along. Meanwhile, her band had just hired a hot new drummer named James. Only problem is, Maggie has a rule against dating band mate. Plus, James already has a girlfriend of five years—and they live together. Will she be able to keep from falling for yet another unavailable man? Read on to find out.

Tuesday, 10:17 a.m.
Woke up this morning and noticed that all my post-breakup weight loss has come back—and then some. Breakups are like instant lipo; you lose your boyfriend and your body
All my post-breakup weight loss has come back—and then some.
drops all the extra poundage. Maybe it’s a consolation prize for your broken heart. Or maybe it’s an evolutionary tactic so you have a better shot at attracting a new guy with your svelte body. But it never lasts. Not for me, anyway. I’m slowly getting over D. and my appetite has returned with a vengeance. I’m going to have to get my lazy butt into the gym.

Wednesday, 4:40 p.m.
Is it wrong that I’m paying special attention to my outfit before rehearsal tonight? Am I too excited to see our new drummer James again? My dangerously short mini and off-the-shoulder top probably answer that question! Well, what’s so wrong with having a crush? I’m not going to act on it—for the sake of my band and my emotional health…

Thursday, 12:05 a.m.
James noticed my mini and made a flirty comment about my very bare legs, while staring at me with his very blue eyes. I’m still smiling about it. I’m being ridiculous. I need to chill.

Friday, 8:00 p.m.
Girls (and gay boys) night out! I’m getting more in the swing of this single thing and feel less like I’m forcing myself to go out and have fun. I’m remembering that excitement of getting ready for just about anything to happen. I mean, who knows? I could meet the man of my dreams tonight—or at least someone new to kiss. And the fact that I’m taking
I was one of the two (fully-dressed) girls there.
more interest in getting dressed (as opposed to moping in my sweats) seems to be a good sign that my heart and psyche are on the mend.

Saturday, 1:28 p.m.
Ooohhhh. Splitting headache. We got a little wild last night. There were tequila shots and dancing on bars and then Robbie and Leonard dragged me to a gay club where there were a ton of bare-chested boys dancing together. I was one of the two (fully-dressed) girls there, but it was a great time. Robbie and Leonard have been the best when it comes to boosting my self-esteem. “Darling, you’re fabulous and gorgeous! If I were straight, we’d be having babies together.” Hearing stuff like this for a few hours while dancing sandwiched between cute (albeit unavailable) men ain’t half bad! Except I’m paying for it now. Oof. I don’t know the last time I had such a bad hangover. I’m spending today in bed.

Monday, 11:35 a.m.
I signed up for this boot-camp class to get my flabby self into shape. First session was this morning at 6 a.m. It was really tough. Pushups, squat thrusts, obstacle course and two drill sergeants who yell at you to do everything faster. I’m already sore. Six more weeks of this. I better be rocking a Gisele body after all this torture.

Thursday, 2:21 p.m.
James gave us the news last night that his girlfriend will be spending the next few months studying abroad on a grant. Um, I’m not sure how to process that info. I acted bummed about it, obviously, but I was secretly cheering inside. Then he said that as his band, we’re going to have to spend more time with him so he won’t get too lonely. Was it me, or did that request seem especially directed towards me?

Friday, 4:10 p.m.
Just got off the phone with James. It was under the guise of band talk and our rehearsal schedule, but there was a whole lot of flirting going on. He says he’s excited for our next practice on Sunday and maybe I can come by beforehand to his studio so he can give me a drum lesson. Is it wrong for me to go?

Maggie Kim is a musician ( who’s living and dating in New York City.

Click here to read the previous installment of this dating diary. Click here to read the next installment. Click here to read our guy writer's diary.

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Would you buy someone a holiday gift that you've been dating for less than 6 months?

Yes, if I want the relationship to continue

Maybe, but only to avoid seeming rude

No, that's too early to exchange gifts

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