Love And Astrology Expert Advice
Love & Astrology: Expert Advice
Renowned astrologer and author Barrie Dolnick fills you in on your horoscope for romance.
|an the stars really tell you why you’re attracted to someone or guide toward finding The One? Well, not necessarily—but there is a lot to learn from astrology about what makes us who we are, and why we’re attracted to certain people more than others. We recently hosted a chat with Barrie Dolnick, a renowned astrologer and best-selling author. Here, her thoughts about dating, romance and what the sun and moon can tell us about love.
Q: What makes two signs compatible?
Barrie: Many different things. For instance, a sign that communicates well will relate well to a sign that has a lot of energy, and the two will feed off each other. A sign that's very internal will bring out things in a sign that's very external. They'll complement each other.
Q: I really like the guy I’m dating, but according to my astrology book our signs are incompatible. Are we doomed to fail?
Barrie: Not at all. Astrology only tells you what your basic qualities are, but it doesn't determine your path in love.
Sometimes opposites attract and are very good with each other, which makes love and life very interesting.
| “Your sun sign gives you your basic character, while your moon sign rules your emotional self.”|
Q: What simple spell would you suggest for attracting a new man in my life?
Barrie: That's a great question! A week from Friday, light a candle after sunset, have some pink roses nearby, and simply ask the universe to send you your heart's desire.
Q: I'm a Sagittarius, but on the cusp. Is this why I often feel like I have conflicting personality elements? Also, my partner is a Leo. Are these generally compatible signs?
Barrie: First of all, Leo is very compatible. Second, it's hard to say exactly why you feel a bit different than your sign, but it's very common, because we also have a rising sign, which dictates personality, and that can be a very different energy. And the moon on the day you were born also gives you a different energy for your emotional life. So that makes three strong signs that combine to give you distinct characteristics.
Q: Can you please inform me which women are good matches for Libra men?
Barrie: Well that would mean you have to make up your mind, because Libra men have a hard time deciding! Ideally, Gemini, Sagittarius, Aries. But every sign of the zodiac will be appealing, for different reasons.
Q: What is the best sign for a Leo to connect with?
Barrie: Leos are very outgoing in general, and if you like to shine; to stand out, you need an Aries, a Gemini, or a Sagittarius. But Leo has Saturn in the signs now, so perhaps something a little more subdued would be in order now, like a Capricorn.
Q: Should I try to find a partner compatible with my sign (Capricorn) or find a person I'm initially attracted to and adapt?
Barrie: The best kind of love is when you can be yourself, without adapting. Love makes adapting effortless, so don't over-think things. Love is not a career move—it’s something that happens naturally. So when you stop trying, it'll happen. Don't avoid anybody based on their signs. Signs are only a guide. If there is natural chemistry, follow it through. Keep in mind that Capricorn can be a reticent sign. So if you find you physically trust someone, that's a time to move into more. Generally Capricorn likes Pisces and Taurus, and sometimes Scorpio.
Q: Who is the best match for a Cancer?
Barrie: If you're a Cancer who's very quiet and limits the amount of people in your life, the best choice would be a Capricorn, a Pisces, a Virgo. If you're a Cancer who's zippy, and has a zest for life, try a Scorpio or Gemini.
Q: Do you believe astrological signs attract other signs?
Barrie: Signs don't attract; people attract. Signs give us our qualities, and sometimes the qualities we have become magnets for other people, and sometimes they become the opposite, and repel. I think that what's more charismatic comes from your inner energies, like your chakras.
Q: Should one wait for auspicious moments, based on astrological positioning, or just try to work things out based on what may come down the pike on any given day?
Barrie: That's a great question. And my answer is yes—and no! Sometimes you can't wait for the right timing, and
sometimes, if you know for instance that the moon is full or Venus is rising, or something that's more detailed about your planet, you'll know it's a great time to go out; go to a party. If you have interest, you could probably find that out by reading your daily or weekly horoscope.
|“There's no absolute rule for matching signs. Even the most difficult combinations can work.” |
Q: Are Cancer and Aries compatible?
Barrie: That can be a dangerous combination, because there's so much passion! So if you can get through the first wave — however long that is; six months... — six years—and it builds to an attraction that is friendship as well as passionate, then yes. But it's one of those combinations that can be very moth-to-the-flame.
Q: Are Scorpios really that stubborn? That is what the women say.
Barrie: I think that Scorpio is only bested by Aquarius when it comes to being stubborn. I think what women are trying to say is that a little effort would go a long way. Compromise and consideration are not the first things that Scorpio would think about, but they can really be seen as a loving gesture. So be a little more flexible.
Q: Who is most compatible with Aquarius women?
Barrie: Aquarius is an interesting sign, because it has eccentric energy. So compatibility is really up to you. Finding the right man is a matter of being open and available to someone who intrigues you. Once your mind is engaged, and your curiosity is piqued, you're doing just fine.
Q: How do two Scorpios generally make out in a relationship?
Barrie: It can be very, very positive, but it takes a lot of effort, because both people have the same intensity, and demand a lot of attention from their mate. So you have to come outside of yourself and look at your relationship objectively, probably more often than other people.
Q: Is it a good love match between a Pisces and a Leo?
Barrie: Oooh, another moth to the flame! It's a natural, passion trigger for Leo/Pisces, because the Pisces has this almost drunken sensuality, and the Leo loves to take a dip in that. Unfortunately they have different motives, so it's difficult to maintain that awesome attraction. It would take a lot of work. That's a tough combination to make it work for the long haul.
Q: Are two Cancers compatible?
Barrie: They're both homebodies, so Cancers have to share their space and be willing to come out of their shells. Generally a Cancer responds well to someone who brings them out of themselves. But two Cancers could be different: a rising sign, a moon sign, so it's possible it could work.
Q: Is there a real need for matching signs, or can any signs make it work?
Barrie: There's no absolute rule for matching signs, or for dating within signs. Even the most difficult combinations can work for your whole life. So it's just a nice guideline to understand. If you keep meeting people who are all the same sign, or all your boyfriends are Libra, there might be a reason for that, but it doesn't mean you have to settle down with that.
Q: I am a gay Aries woman looking to meet a partner. What are good signs for me?
Barrie: Aries women are very competitive, and you need to be careful of over-extending your energy in a date. I like the sign of Libra to counter-balance, and I like the sign of Gemini to lead you away from your hyper energy. But just watch that you don’t become too overly interested; just hang out.
Q: What is the difference between sun signs and moon signs, and how does it affect love and relationships?
Barrie: The sun sign is the sign that gives you your basic character. So let's say you are a Leo. Your basic nature is outgoing, but if you were born when the moon is in the sign of Pisces, you are not so outgoing emotionally. The moon rules your emotional self, so the combination of sun signs and moon signs determines the different qualities and how we relate to people.
Q: How does astrology help one see if there's a mate in the future?
Barrie: Astrology can tell you when times are more likely to bring love, but astrology is not exact. Everybody has more than one chance to find love, and the more you open up your heart, the more it will come to you.
Astro-coach Barrie Dolnick helps people find love and happiness by understanding their stars and their karmic energy. She has published twelve books, including Instructions for Your Discontent and Karmababe: Deciphering Your Karmic Code For Your Best Possible Life.